Widows and Their Wedding Rings

A year ago I thought about taking my rings off but I just was not ready.  It was almost four years but it didn’t feel right to me. More time has passed and it will soon be five years that I went from wife to widow and lately I’ve put more thought into my wedding rings. The wedding ring symbolizes our love for our spouses and afterwards it’s a comfort as a reminder of our love.  It can also stop unwanted advances as we grieve.  There are as many reasons to keep wearing them as there is to remove them. Some widows move their rings to their other hand or pass their rings on to someone they feel close to such as a daughter or granddaughter. In the end I took it to a jeweler and made two pendants out of them– one for me and one for our daughter.  I cannot lie, it was hard to take them off but once I dropped them off at the jeweler I felt at peace and the decision was made. I just picked them up this week and I love what they did.  I will let our daughter have her pick because it doesn’t matter to me. No matter what I will always have one of them to wear and with it I will have all its love and memories.
Wedding rings as pendants for widow

17 Responses

  1. saintpat
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    The wedding ring as pendants is very nice! I was married to my hnusband almost 50 years, and I have our ring on now after one year of widowhood. Occasionally, I put his wedding ring, identical to mine, on a bigger finger on my right hand. I like the look of the 2 wide gold bands. It seems to me anything you do is perfectly okay. Feel no obligation to do anything except what you feel like doing then. Later, it could be different, and that’s fine too.

  2. Mary Francis
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    I agree with you that a widow should do what she is comfortable with and not let the comments of others make her feel rushed to take her rings off. It took me over four years to remove my rings and even so it was strange to have my ring finger go bare so I purchased a ring just for that finger. Thanks for sharing, Mary Francis

  3. titanium body jewelry
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    The wedding rings are an image of the love for the other spouse and when they are gone, it reminds of their love. A nice post.

  4. Jeff Gear
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    The wedding rings are representation of the love, eternal commitment, loyalty, faith, trust and care so I think it should be beautiful, unique and attractive. And it always reminds of their love, when they are gone.

  5. Karen Brevard
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    My late husband and daughter decided to surprise me with a new wedding ring for Christmas. Before the plan could come into full fruition, he passed from cancer. When we went to the jewelers to pick it up, the jeweler and the other associates encouraged me to keep and wear it forever. They were all a part of the initial surprise. They were saddened to hear of my husbands death. The ring is absolutely gorgeous, the ring of a life time! He paseed December 16, 2012. I’m glad I took their advice. It brings me such joy whenever I look at my left index finger. Memories are precious.

  6. Mary Francis
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    It’s a perfect memory and as you said “memories are precious”. Take care, Mary Francis

  7. Kathleen Chamis
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    I will continue to wear my wedding ring as a reminder of
    all the love and happiness we shared not only with my
    husband and myself, but with my two sterling sons and
    daughter in laws. No more weddings for me! I am independent, have my own business as a violin teacher and professional violinist , continue my Biblical Theological
    undergraduate seminary studies, have our good long time
    friends I get together with on Sundays for church . No worries.No problems. Will be into my 2nd year and I
    praise the Lord for all my blessings!

    Kathy

  8. Alicia Baxter
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    Can’t believe it. My husband passed from cancer on May 3, 2014. A grief counselor from hospice comes out once a month to talk and I saw her just last night and we talked about this very subject because someone had asked me why I was still wearing my wedding ring. It’s only been 4 months! This morning when checking my email I received this post about wedding rings. Coincidence? This post just reaffirmed to me that it’s ok to keep wearing it. I look at it everyday and it reminds me of how lucky I was to have him for 35 years.

  9. Theresa Schwarz
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    I lost my husband the day before my birthday in October 2014. I wear both my engagement/wedding rings when we were first married and the past/present/future ring he gave me when we received the sacrament of marriage in the Catholic Church. I resized my husband’s wedding ring and wear it on my right thumb. This first year of “firsts” has been a roller coaster, but God sees me through every day and every moment. I thank Him for the 31+ years we were together.

  10. Monica Mullins
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    My husband passed 8 years ago. I still wear my original wedding ring set he bought me 42 years ago. I have no desire to remarry. And the remind me of the love we shared.

  11. IDA RUIZ
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    THE 22 YEARS WE SHARED TOGETHER ARE PRICELESS. IT WILL JUST BE 6 MONTHS 6/1 THAT I HAVE BEEN A WIDOW. AND I CAN’T HELP BUTT TO HONOR MY HUSBAND MORE EACH DAY BY WEARING MY NECKLACE URN WITH HIS ASHES AND STILL WEAR MY WEDDING BAND. I BONDED HIS BAND WITH MINE AND WEAR THEM EACH DAY ON MY RING FINGER. IT IS A CONSTANT REMINDER OF HOW LUCKY I AM TO HAVE HAD HIM AS MY HUSBAND AND THE FATHER OF MY 6 BEAUTIUL BABIES. I CANNOT IMAGINE HOW NOT TO WEAR MY WEDDING BAND. I LOVE YOU DAVID

  12. Loretta Brown
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    My husband of 25 years passed away March 24, 2015. I thought that, by tradition, I was supposed to move my wedding rings to my right hand to indicate widowhood. However, no one seems to have heard of doing this and I had a man say that yes, he had heard of it but he thought it meant a widow was ready to be “hit on”. I was horrified and quickly switched my rings back to my left hand. Was I wrong about the right-hand thing?

  13. Mary Francis
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    Sorry Loretta about the loss of your husband. I don’t think that many widows follow traditions like they used to. If we did we would still be wearing black for a year to show the world we are in mourning. Having wedding rings on your right hand doesn’t really mean anything as many people where their mothers rings on their right hand. Also, it’s hard to tell what is a wedding ring as the styles are not always what we may thing is “normal”.

    I would suggest that you do whatever feels right for you. Keep your rings on or take them off or change hands – I think the current tradition is to do what makes you comfortable. Take care, Mary Francis

  14. Maureene Timken
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    What a wonderful site. I am 16 days away from being a
    one year widow. I was married for 35 years and this is the
    most difficult loss of my life. I so appreciate everyone’s
    thoughts about our wedding rings. I have go back and forth about a decision. I took it off yesterday and after all
    of your kind words, I have put it back on and it will stay.
    Regards, Maureene

  15. Christy MCMillan
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    How wonderful to find your website! I have lost my husband also. We were married 38 hears. I cannot bring myself to remove my ring…and am glad to see others saying the same.

  16. Barbara
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    I lost my husband 10/12/11.  We were together for about 48 years.  I can't even think about taking my ring off as it represents our love & I have no desire to remarry. I keep thinking back to our wedding vows: 'til death us do part.  Then, what?  I cry every day.  I still see a bereavement therapist.  I have no life as our "friends" seemed to have disappeared.  I keep asking G-d to take me as I would rather be with him than alone.  I live with my daughter & her family in a 2-room apartment.  But that is not enough.  I can't seem to focus on anything more than food shopping, doctors' appointments, & paying my bills.  I sometimes seem to go into a fog & don't realize how much time has passed.  I get up late & go to bed late.  The high part of my day is watching TV from 8-11 PM.  This is no life.  

  17. Mary Francis
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    You’re right Barbara – your life is valuable and there has to be more to it than watching TV.  First thing is that I don’t think you should take off your rings.  Keep them on forever if that is what you want.  You said that you are going to a “bereavement therapist” but you didn’t say how long.  If it’s been for a short period have patience as it may take time to work through your grief.  If however its been a long period of time you may want to consider another therapist.  Even though that therapist may be the very best in their field that doesn’t always mean that they are a match for everyone.  I would talk to your doctor about the fact that you can’t focus and seem to go into a fog.  Some of your medications may be causing this effect and should be looked at by your doctor.  Bottom line – nothing changes unless you change.  Start with small changes that you can easily do such as seeing your doctor and revisiting your therapist.   Take care, Mary Francis 

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