As widows we seem to be more in touch with our senses and therefore more open to seeing the signs that a late husband may send to comfort us. I believe that our husbands are out there looking out for us and we just need to look for the signs.
One of the widows in the book is a nurse and she talked about how she was mowing the lawn and was angry at her husband for not being there. She said “the least you could do is send me a four leaf clover”. The next day a friend called and asked her to check her medical journals for the side effects of a certain drug. When the widow looked up the drug it had a picture of a four leaf clover on its description.
Another widow told me that she often hears footsteps in the house and the bedroom lamp sometimes goes off and on as if it had an electrical short (she had it checked and it doesn’t). She finds comfort in these signs and takes it that her husband is keeping a watch over her.
This weekend I went down to our cottage by the ocean and while I was mowing the lawn I found a bunch of Iris flowers off to the side. We had never had Iris flowers growing wild before but I found it strangely comforting. You see the Iris is the flower I had chosen four years ago to feature in my book ”The Sisterhood of Widows”. The Iris flower stands for strength in times of trouble.
Have you ever felt or seen something that you believe is a sign from your loved one? Some may say that these are not signs from our loved ones but just coincidences. That’s ok because everyone has a right to their own opinion but if it brings you comfort don’t worry about what others think.
I really believe in signs. My husband passed away 6 years ago and although I have moved on, I still have days where I will think of him too much, I never forget about him, but some days I really think too much about him. I will always miss him and will grieve until I lay down beside him. Anyway, back to the signs. On the week-ends, we would make a big breakfast, together. Usually I was the first to jump out of bed, I have always been a morning person. If I was already out in the yard, working in the gardens, my husband would make some toast and coffee and wait for me to come in, so we could cook breakfast. After his death, I pretty much got rid of things in the house, and started over. In the kitchen I replaced the stove, refrigerator, dishwasher and the toaster that he used so much. After his death, I was out in the yard alone on a Saturday morning, our children had grown up and moved out, and I was crying because he wasn’t there. I went in the house and the minute I opened the kitchen door, I smelled toast, hot – right out of the toaster, toast! Well, the toaster I had just bought had never been used. That made me feel so good, I was smiling, somehow he was still there.
I have had several other signs. One night right after he died, I was crying so hard, I couldn’t stop. I felt a pat on my leg, letting me know he was there. I could go to sleep after that.
One Valentine’s day, I was very sad, because he always bought me a card and gifts, and I was missing him so much. I was looking in the bookcase for something to read and a card fell out of the book I picked up. I couldn’t believe it, but it was an old Valentine’s Day card from him; I don’t ever remember putting a card in a book.
After 3 years, sadly he left. I can’t explain it, I just know the house does not feel the same. I am better, I have lots of friends, a guy friend and I have fun, again, so I think he could move on. I am glad he did, because he shouldn’t have to stay on watching me, but I miss him. In a way, it is like he left me two times.