Are you writing out your thoughts, feelings and fears? If not, I urge you to get a journal or spiral notebook and begin. Put in the date and write whatever enters your mind. You may be surprised at the outpouring of feelings that were waiting to be expressed.
Write for yourself as worries written out will not seem so large. Take time to write of the positive things like the support from friends and family. Write of the times when you took control and the progress you have made.
Your journal will always be there to share your grief, pain and future plans. Write it all down and feel the release that writing will give you.
Here is a part of Vicky’s story from chapter seven of the book “The Sisterhood of Widows”:
I had a hard time, but I wrote in my journal every day and it helped me. I did a journal for a year after Grant died and then I put it away. Before I started going out with Luke I took the journal out and read it. I couldn’t believe how far I had come between that first year and the last six months. I wrote in it every night and if it was a really hard day I would write in it twice. Looking back I couldn’t believe the difference in my thought process from when they died.