I read the advice on your website and it was helpful.
I came across your website because I was browsing at the widow and widowers meet dot com dating website.
I lost my husband Mark De Selles February 9, 2011. he was 38 and I was 40.
I was also 3 months pregnant with our daughter Heather, who is 11 months old now.
He was in a motorcycle accident that I witnessed from my car. We were driving on the highway in Arlington, Texas after he purchased a used motorcycle from a seller he found on the internet.
He drove my car over there, but I went with him. I said nothing as he went into the bank to get his money, but protested the whole time on the way over there, trying to tell him this was not a good idea.
I had a really bad feeling about his decision and told him so…but since he was using his money from his own separate account I told him ultimately it was his decision.
He crashed by trying to break and slipped on black ice. Although he had on a helmet, the speed of the impact when he hit the ground caused the helmet to break. His head injury was severe, and although ambulance, fire men and police were there in minutes, he had already passed.
As you know as a widow we have a special duty to somehow put our grief on hold in order to do the proper, right and decent thing…notify his family and friends immediately, make final arrangements, close his accounts, pay off his debts, take care of bills, ect… I did all of this, and had to deal with his grieving mother, and take his ashes back to New Orleans, where his is from…all while 3 months pegnant!
I insisted that that is where he should be laid to rest because he loved his city and his football team, The New Orleans Saints so much. As a matter of fact the only 2 times I saw my husband cry was at our wedding, when saying his vows and when the Saints won the superbowl!
Heather is truly a miracle and a gift from God, because I could have easily lost her, but the shock , and inconsolable sadness I experienced throughout my pregnancy did not affect her!
She is the happiest, most beautiful child! And looks just like her daddy… (and me too!!)
Since I don’t have anyone to share this with at the moment, I will share it with you…Heather counted to 3 this morning out loud. I said “one” and she finished what I was going to say, she said “two, three”!!! In the cutest baby voice!
Thank you for listening and please feel free to share/publish this story.
Jennifer De Selles