You may think that you know who you are but your identity will change and evolve when you go from being a wife to being a widow. It’s up to you to be aware of these changes so you can use them to get rebalanced.
Your future happiness depends on you knowing “your authentic identity” from the inside out. You’re a widow but that’s not your identity. You have the ability to do extraordinary things and to embrace life by creating value in this world. Value is not based on the world’s view of value (money and possessions) but the value of being a good parent, friend or fellow worker. To care about others and to make a difference in their lives is “creating value”.
Going from wife to widow throws you off balance and sociality has changed your “label” and you may not know who you are or understand how to take back control. If this is you, you need to understand that you are not alone. I felt the same way when Donnie died at the age of fifty-three.
It took me a while to realize that I was not alone, that there were others with the “widow” label. I realized that they could help me get clarity so I could rebuild my life. Personal growth requires some growing pains but it gives you the gift of freedom and it helps you on your journey from grief to healing.
My advice to help you on your journey is to seek out other widows and share stories. Make sure the widows are ahead of you in their own healing so they will bring you up, not down.