Real Love

Love isn’t the only thing in your life.  Being true to your self is as important as just being a loving person.

Why should you have to choose between the best in yourself and the best in love?   It is necessary to just relax when it comes to love but in this world love is scary and difficult.

Love can hurt and it can come with many problems and can leave us unsatisfied.  But at the same time, love is the best thing that can happen to us.  It’s wonderful and exciting, but if you’re not scared, you just fooling yourself.

Hope for love is still fully alive and we keep searching for it, in spite of everything.  Love is inside us, it’s the love we know we can give and it’s our capacity to feel loved again.

Second-rate love just doesn’t fill our needs and if we settle for it we could be closing the door on a relationship that would be perfect for us.  Don’t you want to have a man you tells you, for no special reason, that he really loves you.  A man who knows how tired you are and so he rubs your feet and sits quietly with you.  When you complain about a problem he doesn’t try to solve it, he just listens.  To most of us this is real love.

Real love has to make you feel safe.  It needs to have that I-can-count-on-you quality.  Real love means knowing, absolutely knowing, that he will not fail you. If you don’t feel safe your love isn’t real love.

Real love is honest and strong.  You can’t say that he is the man for you if you have to watch everything you say.  What kind of relationship is it, if the only way you can manage to keep him is by telling lies or half truths?  The only kind of love I care about is the kind where I can be myself.  It is the kind that can pick itself up after it’s been knocked down because stuff happens.  Real love has to be strong enough to survive the incredible stresses of life.

Real love should feel good and bring out the best of me.  Love should be an experience of pleasure, a man to hold me, our being together just being enough in itself.  I should feel good about who I am when I’m with him.  You see love isn’t love if it cripples the best of who you are and sucks the joy out of your life.

Real love is nothing without respect.   Your man should notice when you’ve gotten a new haircut and care enough to pay you attention.  “Nobodies” are invisible and you shouldn’t feel like a “nobody”.  Making you feel loved and helping you because he sees how exhausted you are, that’s respect!

Real love, you know it when you’ve got it.  You may have all kinds of ideas about love, but real love always seems to come out of nowhere.  You’re just going along in life and it hits you.  It’s exciting and picks up your heart rate.  If it doesn’t hit you like that, it’s just not happening.

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