Do You Want To Date Again?

You are a smart and warmhearted woman with lots to give and you are missing the love you used to have before your husband died.  You know what it’s like to have a life with someone to love and you wonder about dating again.

But years have passed since you last dated and dating isn’t as easy or as comfortable as when you were younger.

It’s hard to strike a balance between real love and all the demands of a mature woman.  How do you know when it’s worth making a sacrifice for love?

You’re still young and healthy so you get horny and you sleep with a guy and then wonder if you slept with him because you care or because you just needed some sex.  Plain and simple, and yet it can confuse us.

We know that there are women out there who don’t have anything more to offer than we do and yet their love life seems to run more smoothly.  We shouldn’t beat ourselves up because the path to real love is full of potholes.  The real thing is hard to find but it’s worth striving for, because real love is what living is all about.

FACT:  61 percent of women over the age of thirty say they wish they’d fallen in love more; they wish they’d gotten involved with more guys and had different experiences.  Only by playing with love will you get a sense of freedom and knowledge about yourself.

But having different experiences isn’t about sleeping around.  It’s not about who you let into your bed but who you let into your heart.  You have to know when to take care of yourself and so when to let a man go.

Fear of being abandoned.  This means that you cut your dating short so that you are the one not committing instead of the man.  The problem is that your fear of abandonment could be stopping you from making a good relationship into a great relationship.

Afraid of losing control.  You may be looking for relationship where you control everything but you won’t really learn anything new.  You will always be the teacher/parent and that can be exhausting.

Fear of being hurt.  I understand the fear when you put yourself out there and there is always the danger of your heart being hurt.  But the other side is a lonely life without the hope of finding real love and having someone to share your life with.  You may even flit from one man to another because you don’t want to love and be hurt again.  This will only give you an empty payoff where no one cares.

Fear of intimacy.  Hey, we are all afraid of intimacy – it’s not like we are as young as we used to be before we got married.  This new man only knows us by what we look like today and there is some serious aging going on.  The thing is you put more attention to this than the man does.  He is just as worried about how you will react to him.  After all he isn’t as young as he used to be either.

2 Responses

  1. Dottie Robinson
    |

    I don’t have any comments at this time but I am enjoying your information.

  2. Norma
    |

    I have been a widow for 3 years. Have started a support group at my local senior centre in Fergus, ON. Print off your
    articles to read and have given your website to others. Bought your book as well as some others. Unfortunately there are fewer men to date, so competition is uge. And some of us are quite content.

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