Grief is Complicated

I’m reading a book written my a male doctor about widows and their grief.

This doctor did a study and stated some facts as follows (in his words)

  • Four out of ten of the widows I studied had idealized their husbands.
  • Almost one out of three of the widows I studied felt they were stunted during their marriages.
  • Half of the women I studied stated that they had major regrets about some aspects of their lives.
  • When I interviewed the young widows a year later, they showed a marked recovery.  In fact, they were feeling better, on the whole, than the older widows.
  • While younger women initially do have more difficulty coping, their grief seldom persisted for years, as did the grief of some of the older women.
  • “Average Grievers” are widows who showed high levels of grief in the period directly following the death, but demonstrated little or very mild grief one year later.

While I enjoy reading different points of views and I’m sure this male doctor did a good study, I’m not in total agreement with all his findings.  For one thing I’m not sure a married, male doctor can really relate to widows as grief is complicated and “average grievers demonstrated little or very mild grief one year later” just does not match what I know from personal experience.

What do you think of his findings?


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