A new widow is immediately plunged into a scary new life. The challenge of being thrown from being part of a couple to being single is daunting.
Widows typically look to those around them – family and friends for help, but unfortunately most struggle alone with complex questions.
Some of the most common questions I’ve been asked by widows are:
- When will I start to feel normal?
- What should I do with my husband’s belongings?
- How should I handle the discomfort others feel around me?
- How much of my sadness is healthy to let my children see?
- How can I help my children mourn?
- When is it ok to start dating?
- I’m not married and yet not single – who am I?
Widows may feel burdened by society’s attitude towards widows. Our modern attitude and expectations of how widows should act can be confusing. On one hand widows are to be strong and pride themselves on being independent, but on the other hand widows are believed to be sad, dejected and powerless. Where does that leave us?
Widows need help with facing the challenges of their new lives but in truth there is no simple answer to all their questions. Every widow has to travel her own grief journey and should seek advice but at all times trust in her own heart to move forward as it feels right for her.
In our group “Chick’s Night Out” we provide a setting where we do not have to “be a widow” as defined by our society. Instead it’s a place where we can laugh and move towards a comfortable understanding of where we fit in this world.
Try to find a group like this in your area and if there isn’t one than maybe you’re just the lady to start one up.