There are no gender divisions in the life of a widow. You are not completely a wife and/ or one of the bread winners. As a widow “You” are absolutely everything.
You can’t say ‘you do the yard work’ and ‘ I’ll be in charge of keeping the house clean.’ Or ‘you work to cover the bills’ and ‘I’ll work for the extras we want’. You do it all.
You feed the kids, you care for them when they are ill, you do all the shopping, you keep the car running, you pay the mortgage, you pay all the taxes and insurances, you do the yard work…you, you, you.
On top of everything else “You” have to make all the life changing decisions on your own, so when you think about it – you are pretty amazing.