Thoughtless Questions and Comments

Below are some comments made to those that have lost a loved one – let me know if they sound familiar to you:

  • You can get married again.                   (I can’t just replace him like a pet fish.)
  • Get back to work so you can forget.   (Really!  It’s that easy?)
  • At least he lived a long, full life.            (By whose count?)
  • I know what you’re going through.     (No you don’t!)
  • Had you been arguing?        (Of course, all husbands kill themselves after they argue)
  • Didn’t you see the signs?    (What signs? Where is it written that there are signs?)
  • Did he leave a note?            (Why, do you want to read it?)
  • How are you financially?      (Are you curious about the insurance?)
  • You’re doing great!             (Except for behind closed doors!)
  • At least he’s not suffering anymore.     (Why did he have to suffer at all?)
  • The kids are young and won’t remember him. (Was that suppose to be of comfort?)
  • Luckily there is no stigma about suicide these days.  (Yes, aren’t we lucky?)

I’m sure that everyone can add to this list.  Why is it so hard for people to just be there?   A little quiet support goes a long way and is often all that’s needed.


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