When Donnie and I found out he was sick, we didn’t relate that to being terminal and so we never talked about end of life issues.
Donnie never raised the subject and I didn’t want to upset him talking about wills, funerals, insurance etc. Years later I think back and the truth is that I really didn’t want to face his death. I should have said “I need to know what your wishes are” and I should have talked to him about my feelings, love and fears. All the other issues on practice matters would have naturally followed.
Discussions about loving and dying don’t have to be long. Long discussions may be hard to take in and sometimes information must be exchanged gradually so that both of you can handle the stress.
By carefully choosing the time to express your fears, you will be able to let go of your fears a little at a time. Don’t be afraid that they will begin to cry and you won’t know what to do. Tears don’t have to be fixed or stopped because they are a natural way to deal with stress.
Tell them how blessed you are to have them in your life and to reach this point of acceptance of death and also appreciation of the life you have shared.