When we have something good happen to us we usually want to tell the people in our life. When you talk about it, you feel that good feeling again and talking about good things is easy to do. It’s very unlikely that they don’t want to hear your good news or will tell you “Don’t feel good”.
On the other hand you also want to share your sad feelings with others. Your first instinct might be to call someone and tell them. The word is “might” because you have learned that it’s not always safe to talk about your sad feelings.
Often they may say “Don’t feel bad”, but you do feel bad and not talking about it doesn’t make it stop or go away. You may not feel safe talking about your grief but those feelings are there.
So where do those feelings go? You may be inclined to hold your feelings in and act as if you’re fine, when nothing could be further from the truth.
You tell yourself “don’t feel sad”, “grieve alone”, “time heals”, “be strong” and “keep busy”. Your mind thinks it’s helping you to deal with your feelings but when we trap our feelings inside us there are emotional and physical consequences.
It’s normal and healthy to grieve so always express your feelings – holding your feeling in will cause you more harm then good.