After my husband died I found that there were people in my life that stepped back and watched me make some pretty foolish mistakes without letting me know the path I was on. And yet there were others that couldn’t mind their own business and were always being nosey and critical.
The years have passed and I survived, as we all do and I’m left wondering what was best for me those first couple of years as a widow? For me – I think it was important to stretch and make mistakes without having the support of my husband. I found it hard in my time of grief to suffer through someone’s nosey and critical opinion when they still had their husbands and couldn’t relate to my grief.
Now I try to watch what I say and stay neutral when I see others struggling to find their way. I have a hard enough time trying to run my own life without trying to run somebody else’s.
Don’t be nosey. Nosey people are critical people that want to know all the details, not so they can help but because they are looking for something that’s juicy to feed their judgmental nature. If they talk about others when they are not around then you can bet that they will also talk about you.
If you know a nosey person who comes up to you and says, “Did you hear what I heard? or Did you hear what she is doing?” your best answer should be, “No, and I don’t want to hear or You know what? I just remembered that I have something important to do.”
Don’t sit there and be passive when a gossip wants to tell you something bad about another person. If you can’t leave, be bold enough to change the subject. A gossip or critic will poison your day, so if you have friends that are always negative and don’t mind their own business think about how much time you want to be spending with them.
On the other hand watch out that you don’t become that nosey gossip or critic. You may not agree with everything and you may not understand what someone is doing, but don’t be a gossip or talk negatively about them.
I may not understand someone or agree with what they are doing and so I may choose not to associate with that person, but I also choose to not bad-mouth them – or at least I try 🙂