Getting Married Again

When is it right to get married again? I think you should get married again when you feel that you don’t want to live without this person in your life.

I have witnessed some new relationships and a number of marriages through the years. I have seen enough of these wondrous happenings to know that sometime and somewhere, when you least expect it, you will see a sign that signals a new love. When we are in love the fact that they come from different ages or backgrounds doesn’t matter.

That is not to say that all has been sweetness and light, by any means. In fact, while the marriages may be wonderful, getting to that point has not always been easy.

Objections to a marriage often come from adult children, sometimes on both sides of the relationship. The interference is usually based on perceived fear that the new marriage will cost them the one parent that they have left. Then there is the fear that the new relationship will be the end of the holiday traditions with which they grew up. Worse still, the marriage might be perceived as the end of the inheritance.

No one can ever replace a parent and once offspring realize that that is the last thing that a surviving parent’s new love wants to do, things become easier. Most children, regardless of age, want the best for the surviving parent. If you are worried about the reactions of the families to your new relationship then meet with your children and have a frank discussion as soon as possible. Any new relationship is simply a gift regardless of time, age, or other factors.

Another conundrum that bereaved people experience has to do with the invasive curiosity that people have about new relationships. People question how you can make love without feeling that you are betraying your first spouse and ask if it possible to really love again without feeling guilty. We all mix names at one time or another. It’s interesting that, while people who have remarried take such use of a loved one’s name in stride, many others do not. Unless you have been there, you can’t really be expected to understand this reality. This is a private matter and you never have to explain yourself.

One Response

  1. jessycoutinho

    beautiful and true

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