Making the Home Yours

What does one do with all the stuff we had accumulated over the years? I found out, much to my amazement, that the children really didn’t want it either. Having a lot of things stuffed in boxes in the garage and closets creates negative energy. Eliminating the clutter freed me of always thinking about it and having it done made me feel better.

If it’s your husband’s stuff don’t do anything with it till some time has passed and your ready. But don’t hold on to all his stuff for years and years. There are some things that should be kept for memories but old tools, clothes and big boy toys should go unless you use them yourself.

Slowly and carefully you may want to make some small changes, but only when it feels right to you. Start with one room by looking around and deciding on what you want to keep and what should go. Move things around, take something away and add something new. Slowly, you can breathe some freshness into your home.

This might be a good time to get some uplifting and inspiring art for your walls. Surround yourself with objects from nature and plants with bright colors to liven up your home. It can be fun to take charge of some easy remodeling and painting. It will give you a boost to clean out a room and rebuild it with fresh paint, new artwork and less clutter.

It may take energy you don’t feel like you have, but just getting up and doing this as a project will make you feel like your accomplishing something. That feeling will help you move on to the next project and give you something positive to plan for.

Life isn’t about “things” – “things” don’t come to your funeral. For almost four years Donnie’s golf clubs and chain saw have been stored in our shed. It isn’t like I’m ever going to use either his clubs or the chain saw, but letting them go was hard.

You would think that it would get easier but it doesn’t. It feels as if a little bit of Donnie disappears every time I give away something of his. They are part of my past, but I need to move forward without them. My mind tells me that it’s time to let these things go, but my heart is still saddened.

6 Responses

  1. Bira Pittman
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    Oh boy, I remember doing this two years ago. I was fortunate to have my kids help with this. First of all, I went through Geoff’s things. I kept a few of his vacation shirts that I loved and photos. After that, I had to be strong. I donated many of his clothes, suits, shoes to a homeless shelter, which made me feel good. It’s a hard road to take, but a necessary one. I truly wish I could be there to help. Thinking of you! Xoxo

  2. Janice B Berry
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    There’s a place online that I sent 12 of my husband’s favorite T-shirts, a few really showed signs of wear. A women took those and made a quilt throw. They said to wash the shirts but I did not, when I received the throw I could still smell my Poppi. I gave all of my husbands clothes, shoes, hats, coats, belts to the Salvation Army. Our Son took a few things and I kept one shirt and 2 of his hats. Before one year was up, I sold our house with all the furniture, and moved to another state to be closer to family. I bought a manufactured home in a very clean mobile home park. I had it remodeled and bought all new appliances and all new furniture. Then I had the most fun decorating it kinda girly! My husband was a Marine and was a tough guy so we mostly had manly furniture. After moving in I painted my bathroom, apricot kisses! I have so many girly touches, and I have my husbands pictures in almost every room. However it is all new, fresh and mine! Living in our old house I felt afraid even though we lived in a very very low crime area. Now I feel safe and confident in myself. I have some of my husbands things stored up very high in my shed out back, clearly marked, Dad, and what is in the box. He would be in awe of me now…….

  3. Bira Pittman
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    I also sold my house three months after Geoff died. I bought a townhouse. A new home, a new start.

  4. Karen pedersen
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    It’s been almost four years that my Husband past. First time reaching out. His death very unexpected. 58. Foot infection. He had a fib on blood thinner gave him stronge antibiotic, he bleed out. No one watched his levels. 3 days later, gone. Lost my mom 6 months earlier. Had to sell the family home. Relocate my 86 yr old aunt. Never did this before, probably too much info.

    Karen

  5. Mary Francis
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    Hi Karen Sorry about the tragic loss of your husband at such a young age. A lot going on with also losing your Mom, selling the family home and relocating your Aunt. With all that it must have been hard to take the time to grieve and we must grieve to heal. Sometime when we are too busy our grief gets put on hold and buried deep inside of us. That only delays our healing because grief is natural and normal and needs to be felt.

    I hope you take time for yourself and let yourself feel your loss. It’s a painful journey but necessary to your future happiness. Don’t get in the habit of wearing the “I’m okay” mask for when someone asks how your doing. Find a close friend or family member or counselor to express your real feelings of angry, hurt and loneliness. Your not alone in this and so please keep reaching out for support. Take care of yourself, Mary Francis

  6. Lynda
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    I am 55 and my husband Frank was only 53… he passed away completely unexpectedly last Monday… I am devastated, heartbroken, and so very sad… I have no idea of what to do with my self now that he is gone… we had a lifetime of plans that are now ? Thank you for any and all help, advice, stories

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