Money Troubles

I wish I could say that every widow is left financially set but in truth the death of a spouse can leave a lot of widows financially broke.

Reality is harsh and I know you didn’t ask for this. It’s hard enough to handle our grief without worrying about money but I’m not going to lie to you and say “it will all work out” because sometimes it just doesn’t.

Banks don’t care about our grief and credit card companies still want their payments. You can stay in denial or get tough and take control.

1. The sooner you accept your money troubles the sooner you will start to live frugally – redefining what is necessary and what is a luxury. TV commercials lie and the “Joneses” aren’t worth comparing yourself to.

2. Don’t put yourself down for being poor and start taking pride in your ability to control your spending. Taking pride with who you are and not what you own.

3. Credit cards sell out your future for a better life in the moment. Don’t buy now and pay later, instead save now and buy later. The answer is simple: destroy all but one card and work to pay off any existing balances.

4. Financial decisions, taxes, insurance, housing etc. are hard decisions for you to master on your own. Find a trusty adviser to steer you through the money maze. Make sure to get professional help with your first years taxes as there may be deductions or credits that you don’t know about.

5. Considering moving to a cheaper place? With all the upheaval in your life, can you deal with moving as well? On the other hand, does your current home hold too many sad memories? Can you afford to stay when you need a fresh start with lower payments? Moving is not an easy issue – weigh the pros and cons, and get some good advice before making your decision.

6. Sometimes, there is no way out and you are faced with bankruptcy. If you have cut expenses to the bone and you still can’t pay your bills, then look into it. Get sound legal advice and see if it’s right for you. It’s a way to get back on your feet again, so use it if you have to and don’t feel ashamed of what you can’t control.

3 Responses

  1. Anonymous
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    “Don’t feel ashamed of what you can’t control”….. Easier said than done. My husband of 39 years died the same night that you were writing this post. We had been fighting his cancer for the past 5 years. I am left not only emotionally strapped, still feeling bruised by some “well-meaning” individuals who caused a great deal of pain in his last days, and f
    week, and financially bereft as well, with funds all but nonexistent. Still too young government help, no life insurance, his pension wiped out in the crash, as was our home. I will get the laughable sum of $255.00 Fed death benefit eventually, $20.00 a month
    food stamps. No kids, no welfare.
    His cremation cost almost $1,800.00.
    Fortunately, his best friend’s wife,
    herself also a recent widow, has decided to cover that for me. What do I do now? I have no idea.

  2. Mary Francis
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    Dear Anonymous – I’m so sorry that you have to deal with financial problems at this time. I can’t give you detailed help because everyone and every place is different. Generally seek out advise; banks, church, social programs, senior groups, every where and any where, just keep asking and seeking. Widows especially seem to know where to go, so look around your area for widows that may know what is available for support, both mentally and financially. Mary Francis

  3. Mary H
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    Dear Anonymous, I to am very sorry for all your problems. I didn’t know which way to turn either. There was a couple of bills and there was a “little” money. I had family and friends who was there night and day offering to help but with their hands open. I am surprised the zipper on my purse didn’t wear out from opening and closing to pay for the help. Yes you read right, I had to pay my family and so called friends. Once the money was gone, so were they. I called a lawyer and made an appointment to see him, it was the best thing I ever did, any bill that was not in my name I didn’t have to pay. My lawyer said when the bill comes to forward it to him, I did and haven’t heard any more. I filled out an application to move into a Senior’s Apartment which the rent is 30% of your income. I had to wait one year, but I am now here and very comfortable.I have a picture of my late husband on my desktop computer and I talk to him everyday. It sure helped me feel better. So do prayers !! I hope time will get better for you. I will be thinking of you. God Bless.

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