We widows are yearning to discover how we fit in now that we are on our own. Many of us join online-dating sites, looking for deep connections with others. Widows are nesters, looking for a stress reliever and to be comforted. We also sweat out our stress at the gym – yoga and Pilates studios have seen a high increase in membership.
Coming together through hard times is a way of becoming part of something greater than ourselves. It can be as simple as laughing with an audience at a comedy or performing acts of kindness to improve both our self-image and our sense of community.
So – where do you fit in? Being part of a community and making a difference, even a small one, is deeply satisfying. No matter how stressed they are, volunteers report they always feel better after taking a few hours to do something positive for their community.
But what if online dating, exercise and service to others are not within your reach? Then there are things you can still do that are uplifting. Trying humming along to some music, take a 20 minute “Google Earth Vacation” to remind you that there is a beautiful world out there. Take a walk and seek out those little flashes of beauty in the natural world. Take ten minutes to find the pictures in the clouds and the colour around you that the blind are unable to see. When grieving you are blind to the beauty around you, the negatives are so strong that it’s hard to inhibit them.
In other words, instead of waiting for this daunting grief to pass, we can try to seize “uplifts” to lighten our day, where ever we can find them. We are incomplete on our own, we realize our potential, become alive, only when we seek out the positive – it could be waiting for you in someone’s eyes, in music or in a starry night. You can find it – just keep looking up.