I know you are thinking that “reinvention” sounds like work and that it will take energy you just don’t have. But the sad truth is that you have no choice, as a widow your life has already changed. The question now is whether you take control and reinvent your journey or if you just let it happen.
My first try with reinvention happened within the first year of widowhood when I decided to buy an old house and completely remodel it. I hate to admit it but I was totally out of my element, overspent and was never happy in that house – I sold it a few years later at a loss. But the odd thing about it all, is that I found that I could make decisions on my own and that where I lived did not make my grief better or worse. I learned that my grieving went with me and I could not stay busy enough to out run it.
After that my next reinvention was to write a book (another time when I was totally out of my element) but this time I found something that I was passionate about and that made all the difference to the outcome. I learned that discovering what you love is an essential part of reinvention.
Don’t let age or finances define you. Rather than trying to recapture what can never be, work at living in the moment. Living in the moment is no easy feat as it’s more normal to keep going over the past and to worry about what’s in your future. But in my opinion, living in the moment is another necessary part of reinvention. You have to be focusing on each day to be aware of the opportunities that are out there for you.
I’ve learned to be a risk-taker since Donnie’s death. When I started working with widows, I didn’t know how it would work but it’s grown into a worldwide effort to empower widows.
I’m constantly searching for ways to do better because I believe that our lives are forever being reinvented. It’s not about reaching an end goal but more about continually growing into ourselves, learning to love and enjoy who we are because we still have a lot to offer this world.