Of course as widows we are lonely. It’s hard to go from being a couple to being single, plus we need to grieve before we can heal.
But in time you will arrive at the point of being “comfortable” with your own company. You will choose to go out with close friends or stay in, but it’s a conscience choice and not a keep busy at all cost decision.
Your dulling senses will start to come back to life and that leads to interests, activities, thoughts and healing, which make it more comfortable to be alone. You will have faced the ghost of loneliness and realized that you cannot run from it. Instead you have accepted loneliness as part of life and with that acceptance you are free to accept that loneliness does have some healing qualities.
Taking time for yourself allows introspection, reflection and a growing awareness of what you want. Slowly the emptiness of grief will give way to healing and you will grow strong, so you can be comfortable with the woman you are.
There is tremendous therapeutic healing in learning to love yourself, to value the person you are. No one wants to be lonely, but that’s just where you are at this time of your life and there is no denying it. So, take this time for some self-discovery of what you want, because you need to find that balance between being with others and being alone.