Re-entry into the Single Life

You have travelled the grief journey and have come to the point where you are ready to start your life as a single person. It will be a different life from when you were young and single. You’re older, wiser and a bit more nervous.

Death shakes our self-awareness of who we are. If you’re not Mrs. … anymore, who are you? Before re-entry into single living you must redefine yourself.

First step is to learn to be a single person, ready and able to face life alone. Then the next step is learning to love again after you have rebuilt your life and learned to love yourself.

How do we first learn to love ourselves? When you learn to accept yourself as you are, that gives you permission to grow, change and become more the person you want to be.

We have all had traumatic experiences that have left us wounded. But those events are part of life and part of living. We are not perfect and never will be. When we learn to accept our faults, “it’s okay to not be okay”, then we begin to feel more valued.

It’s important to love yourself, to give yourself permission to be the person you are. Your life is in your control so let yourself feel love for yourself – it is the way life is meant to be.

5 Responses

  1. Sharon
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    I am not a joiner, so find it difficult to make new friends.

  2. Mary Francis
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    Hi Sharon – None of us find it easy to step out of our comfort zone. Nothing changes unless the pain of staying the same is more than the pain of change. Only you can make that decision – are you tired enough of your life or are you okay with the way it is? The choice is yours to make!! Mary Francis

  3. Patricia
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    My husband died 3 years ago and I finally took off my wedding ring. I wondered when, or if, I would ever do that, but I just decided and think it’s OK. I’m not necessarily looking for someone new, I just felt like I was hiding behind an identity that was no longer real.
    I think it’s time I started living a new life. Thanks for this website, very helpful.

  4. Rowan
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    My husband passed on 9 months ago. My newest realization is how much my husband was my point of reference, somebody who would love me, someone to consult with, someone to confide in. I have no children nor any family within 1,000 miles. I feel I do love myself but feel lost for loss of expression from my authentic self. Isolation is a strange thing.

  5. Mary Francis
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    Hi Rowan. You are still grieving and will be for a while so please be easy on yourself. It is hard to go from wife to widow and getting rebalanced takes work. Be cautious about spending too much time alone as women we need our social outlets. Take care of yourself and I wish you the best. Mary Francis

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