Some widows develop lifelong victim mentality following the death of their loved one. They feel that they have been wronged or robbed of something precious.
It places a burden on family and friends who must be on constant alert to never say or do anything that could be perceived as thoughtless or hurtful.
You definitely don’t want to carry that “victim” feeling for the rest of your life. When your spouse died, there was broken hopes, dreams and expectations. Now is a good time to write out the thoughts and feelings that their death robbed you of communicating. This gives you the opportunity to clearly state your loss and the hopes/dreams that are not going to come true.
It’s okay to be angry, sad, frustrated so don’t judge yourself for having these emotions. Deal with them by writing it all out so that you can say goodbye to the pain, to being a victim and be free to restart your life and find happiness again.
There is a difference between normal grieving (which is healthy) and having a victim mentality (which is unhealthy). Don’t let what has gone wrong in your life become all consuming – never to see the blessings you still have.