Being a Care Giver

If you cared for your loved one before their death, than all you energy and focus went into that one mission. Your life may have become very isolated from the rest of the world.

When the care giving ended you would think it would be easy to get back in touch but that isn’t always the case. You’re numb with grief and this new found freedom is somewhat scary. It can be hard to adjust to a life that doesn’t have full time demands on your time.

If you are not a caregiver – then who are you? This might be scary but you have to get out and enjoy life. Make a list of all the things you wanted to do when you were a caregiver and then just go for it. Dream big or small it doesn’t matter as long as you take it one step at a time towards something just for you.

Don’t get back into “care giving” by looking after someone else that is in need. It may feed your emotional need to be needed but you may just be trying to avoid that outside scary life of being single.

2 Responses

  1. Mary leblanc
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    I care for my husband who died inApril 2017. He had pancreatic cancer. I had one caregiver in the morning to wash him and I took care of all the rest. The drug routine was difficult. I am ripe as far as grieving goes but I am still exhausted. I exist on subway sandwiches. An understanding friend would be welcome. I have no family here Thank you for reading this.

  2. Ann
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    Mary I’m so sorry. You are in a very hard place. It just takes a long time I’m afraid. One day at a time or just one hour. My husband died of prostate cancer July 4, 2016. I know we have to look at our grief and not hide from it if we want to heal but at the same time I think it is good to have distractions to give our hearts and minds a tiny reprieve. I have used sewing or jigsaw puzzles or anything that requires a bit of concentration as it just stops the downward spiral of uncontrollable grief. I find that driving helps to refocus my mind so I take a drive, get some coffee, and listen to sermons on my iphone. Try to think of some things you might do for distraction. I also joined a Griefshare group. You can find them all over just google it and put in your town. It was thirteen weeks and just helped to make contact with others who were experiencing or had experienced the same awful things I was going through. Some people go through the class two or three times. I might go again next month myself. It’s hard to be alone and my heart aches for you. Hang in there. I believe there are better days ahead for us. Keep going.

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