Honour Your Memories

There are many ways to honour those that we have loved and lost:

Give your grief its voice by expressing your loss.
Display photographs.
Restore old or tattered pictures.
Donate to a worthy cause in their honor.
Enjoy your memories.
Visit or revisit places they loved.
Watch some of their favorite movies.
Plan ways to pass on their possessions.
Revisit the old neighborhoods.
Save something they owned for the grandchildren.
Write a biography of their life: “I will always remember…”
Become a friend to someone who is newly widowed.
Create a “Husband” or “Dad” calendar in their honor.
Listen to their favorite music.
Plant a tree or bush in their honor and watch it grow.
Check on family/friends who may be finding it hard.
Get out and enjoy their favourite meal.
Create something of beauty out of their clothes.
Make a donation to their alma mater.
Find a unique way to celebrate their birthdays.
Remember the anniversary dates of other widows.

Be open to the moments when another’s loss intersects with yours. Share what you are learning from your own loss. Opportunities to share your own grief journey will help you to heal.

8 Responses

  1. Rania

    I need to know how remembering and sharing memories is part of healing process however pain still exist

  2. Mary Francis

    Dear Rania, when we are grieving we may try to bury our feelings and memories because they are too hard to acknowledge. But as time passes our heart heals to the point when we want to talk about our loved one. We want to remember all the good things we did together. In fact one of the greatest fears I had was that my memory of Donnie would fade away as I got old. It’s painful now but in time those memories will be what helps you heal because they take you out of that numb darkness of not feeling anything – into the light were you stop wearing a mask and start feeling again. Memories are a very important part of living. Mary Francis

  3. angie

    Thank you!

  4. Ruth Dodds

    I’m having issues listening to our music or visiting places we went I can’t even attend the same church we went to. I seem to be sad all the time and have had to run to the ladies room least someone sees me in tears,I don’t want that. I live alone and have very little family. Even though things we’re going down hill it was always just Jim and I and our pets,I’ve lost half of us and I can’t see any way to fill that void in my life or my house. Take pills they tell me,is there even one out there that deals with this without side effects making me feel worse? I don’t feel I have any direction in my life,everything I have tried leads me back to where I started.

  5. Ms Burn

    Yes my dear iam a widow too and I cry to sleep wanting him back,but also enjoying his birthday with family annerversy funeral day with celebration only when families leave that’s sad moment,I still dress up wear nice clothiers as how my husband promised me to carry so he can look on me,hope this help to any readers,I got 11yrs old daughter I don’t want anyone in my life,

  6. Ms Burn

    Ms Burn
    Yes my darling husband was given very short time to spend but the emotion was so high couldn’t think straight iam crying and my husband saying once iam stop breathing that’s but I feel for you how you will cope ? That was his worries he prepare me but I as numb,he planted a mandarin tree for ,now tree gave fruits and we share with families,we had short holiday to cairns,listen to his music I shaved my head before his treatment,I never was prepared to say goodbye,he joke angles will look after him,so I said dont sleep away give me some sign so I want to see you leaving me,my hubby did exactly one side his sister other side me next to his bed tooone breath pause second and last one gone 6.30am 1November,seen clear l’y just left me,but I became very strong each day and moment, I still got his clothes everything how it use to be,I want him back iam shattered like broken glass,I am left behind with our beautiful daughter I cherish her through my husband, thanks s to all sisterhood of widows,######

  7. Mary Francis

    Dear Ruth, there is no magic pill to heal our grief. Sharing our stories with others and finding something to do that we are passionate about are the two best things that I have come across to help us heal. Grieving is normal and natural so let it have its time. Mary Francis

  8. Ms Burn

    Dear Ruth,iam so sorry to read your loss,I am on the same path,I seen Dr to Brevement group where people lost their partners hear other people stories how to be strong ,join gym swimming,and enjoying the mermories what we created and travelled together,feel my husband is around me all the time only I can’t hold him or see him,iam contacted with our belonging it’s very hard to let go,like move house, his clothers shoes,where his sit at table,his music,his hair brush his hair I still got it,I touch his items makes me feel good,I take myself those moment of time and that makes me feel good,so please hope you talk to some one Ruth ,yes scarfs are my comfort zone, I also got weak points too but working on it too,
    Ms Burn

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