As widows we start our healing by allowing the unknown, being open to a world of possibilities. As scary as that can be, it’s the only way to find out what you really want.
Staying tied up in our past enables us to avoid our future. Changing from wife to widow can mean a loss of identity. You may still want to be known as a married person and fight being known as a widow.
The best advice I can give about the grieving process is that “it takes as long as it takes”. Give it the time it needs and only you will know when your ready to explore the unknown world of a widow. Gather up a lot of support and give yourself credit for the courage you are showing.
Get connected with others that have lost their loved ones and share support and stories. Notice along the way the new people you meet and how much larger your world is becoming. Don’t be too hard on yourself – give yourself some room to make mistakes.
For many of us widows, it takes a long time to realize that we create our future from our unknown world. Your in charge, you get to decide how you want it to go. Think about it – this your opportunity to do what you want, with the friends/family you want to be with.
You start to heal when you start thinking about your future in a more positive light:
- Where do you want to live?
- How do you want to spend your days?
- Re-evaluate everything – identify what you like and don’t like, you get to decide.