Grieving Time

If your a recent widow, you are just getting by minute by minute – then hour by hour – day by day – week by week until you finally can do month by month without breaking down.

If you can have an “ok” moment – just 60 seconds of being “ok” at least once a day – it’s a start and to be expected those first few months.

Be easy on yourself and understand that grief will take its time. It’s normal to grieve for months and even years before you find your balance. Understanding this will help stop you from drifting into depression, thinking that your grieving is taking too long.

4 Responses

  1. susan

    I became a widow 2 years ago suddenly after 46 years of marriage. My husband was unwell from the age of 34 very early in our marriage but we muddled through. His death for me was unexpected and whilst I have stopped crying I find myself not knowing how to enjoy life to the point if I won lotto I would think that’s nice, don’t know how to find enjoyment or to find people my age, 68, any advice you can give me will be much appreciated.

  2. Mary Francis

    Hi Susan, it’s important to grieve but there comes a time in our journey where we are “tired of being tired” and start looking for ways to heal. You didn’t say if you lived in a city or in the country because that makes a difference to the opportunities you have to get out and meet people your own age. The best way I’ve found to enjoy life is to share my life with others – join social groups, volunteer, church and clubs of people doing something that you like, example gym or crafts. To have friends you first have to be a friend and put yourself out there. If you do that I think your life will not only be more enjoyable but also more healthy both physically and mentally. Don’t make excuses, there are always free to cheap things to do and if you live to far away than think about the price your paying staying where your not happy. Take care, Mary Francis

  3. Erin

    My husband passed just 4 weeks ago. I’ve made it through a month. It was sudden and I’ve been in shock, just trying to come to terms. Lost is what I am, but I’m making it. We’ve a ten year old son. He has been my angel. My reason for getting up each morning.

  4. Mary Francis

    Dear Erin – I’m sorry that your going through this journey. Keep looking for information to help support you and talk to other widows whenever you get a chance because they understand your pain. Follow my blog and website resources whenever you get a chance. Take care of yourself, Mary Francis

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