Though it’s easier to talk about almost anything than the dead, the dead are what mourners most need to talk about – especially jurying this festive season. Therefore please do not shy away from sharing your memories.
Don’t try to get through the holidays by behaving as if nothing has happened. Instead acknowledge the loss, the grief and the missing space at the table. If somebody is not at the table who was there last year, it is a wonderful time for everyone to take a moment to talk about their memories and recall what they miss and what they loved about that person.
Everyone is already thinking about that person so it’s better to just speak our feelings out loud.
Pretending that everything is fine when everything isn’t just adds to our stress. The only way to survive the holiday season after the death of a loved one is to make time for memories. Say their names out loud, tell and retell the same old stories, tales of love, laughter, what was most memorable and what we miss the most.
Stories are the fabric that weaves our families together. Life does go on, but let’s take a portion of the past with us, honor it so we can pass it along to the next generation. Sometimes we cry, sometimes we laugh – both are gifts of healing.
“Acknowledge Our Loss” is from page 3 of my “Survivors Guide for Holidays and Special Occasions”. It’s available on this site under the “Products” page.