Friendships often change when we become a widow, some friends drift away because they were part of your couple friendships and some drift because they just can’t handle your grief. In both cases, let them go.
But what about the friend that stays, but you find yourself in a toxic situation with them. They turn against you without notice, make snide comments, stand you up or expect you to pay whenever your out.
It’s confusing, and we don’t know what to do. We don’t want to lose anyone else, but their hostility puts us into emotional confusion – something we don’t need while we are grieving. Part of us seems victimized and we start feeling sorry for ourselves or we rationalize their actions by saying that we are being oversensitive and should just shake it off. We simultaneously want to give them a piece of our mind or just forgive them – but we can’t do both.
This toxic friendship can make us feel powerless, make us blindly deny that anything is wrong or banish them from our lives forever. But, maybe there is another option and that is to talk calmly to them about your feelings and hopefully you can resolve the dispute in a loving manner.
The real trick is to know yourself – find a way to peacefully exist with old friends now that your life is forever changed. But never compromise yourself to keep a friendship that is toxic, instead let it go so that there is room in your life for new friendships that help you grow into your new life.
For more on Relationship check out my Guide “Our Relationships – How Do We Keep Them Healthy?” Guide # 3 on Relationships