Being creative isn’t found in following rules or by getting it right.  Creative living is about bringing your whole self to a project, activity or relationship and simply doing the best with what you have.  It’s about the courage to just give it a try.

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are, at this moment in time.

Sometimes we think our actions have to be huge to be important or that what we do won’t make any difference but that’s just not true.  Small efforts can be just as meaningful as big ones.  The most important thing is that you find the ways that are natural and comfortable for you.

Remember that there is no right or wrong and there is no need to be perfect.  Don’t get caught in the trap of thinking that the creative process requires perfection because it does not.

There is no rule book; there is just the way that you do things.  You are unique so how you enjoy your day should be done with your own genuine style and personality.

Remember that life is not about finding yourself so much as it is about creating yourself.

I believe in creating things, ideas and moments that will bring you closer to the people in your life.  It can be as creative as having an amazing dinner party from leftovers or that special little thank you gift that you made.

The best gifts are not found in a box or in a store.  The best gifts are the people and the moments that make life wonderful.  There is no limit to the way we can share from our hearts.  Living creatively helps us to express love in our everyday acts.

There are three main reasons that widows need to be creative :

1.  The more hardships we have in our lives the more we search for self expression.  Sometimes there are simply no words to express what we are feeling.  We need other ways to let people know what is in our hearts.

2.  Many of us feel a lack of meaning in our lives.  We may be moving through life and wondering just what we have accomplished.  We need to stop and put more meaning into our actions.  Living creatively does not mean we do more, but that we put more meaning into what we do.

3.  We all need more reasons to play.  A child is always being creative, asking questions and laughing.  But as a grownup we lose our creatively, and with it our imagination and joyfulness. 

Decide right now to bring playfulness back into your life.  By living creatively we recognize that we are each in charge of putting play, meaning and self expression back into our everyday lives.

I want to inspire you to create a moment that matters.  To create a memory that will last a life time is to create a sense of yourself as the artist of your own life.

But for some reason, that I cannot fully explain, I had an off day today.  When Donnie was alive he would treat me to breakfast in bed on Mother’s day even when the kids were fully grown.  We would have time with the kids but I was also spoiled by their father.  I missed that today and it is just one of those times when you feel that loss.

I can’t even imagine what it would be like to have lost your husband and have all your kids living away or even worse not making the effort to call or visit.  I have many blessings in my life with my children, family and good friends.  That is what takes the edge off my sadness and makes my life so much more peaceful and contented.

To all those that have lost a loved one and are feeling that loss today, I wish you peace and contentment.  Reach out to those loved ones that are still in your life and take note of the blessings you still have.

More time has passed and it will soon be five years that I went from wife to widow and lately I’ve put more thought into my wedding rings.

The wedding ring symbolizes our love for our spouses and afterwards it’s a comfort as a reminder of our love.  It can also stop unwanted advances as we grieve.  There are as many reasons to keep wearing them as there is to remove them.

Some widows move their rings to their other hand or pass their rings on to someone they feel close to such as a daughter or granddaughter.

In the end I took it to a jeweler and made two pendants out of them– one for me and one for our daughter.  I cannot lie, it was hard to take them off but once I dropped them off at the jeweler I felt at peace and the decision was made.

I just picked them up this week and I love what they did.  I will let our daughter have her pick because it doesn’t matter to me. No matter what I will always have one of them to wear and with it I will have all its love and memories.

Wedding rings as pendants for widow

The home page has over three hundred blogs grouped in specific categories for easy reading.

Widows will find resources from all of these webpages “Stages of Grief”, “Grief Resources”, “Cooking For One”, ” Health For Widows” and “Insurance/Finances”.

There is a special page just for widows called “Widow Stories” where you can read stories from other widows.

Funeral Homes have a section for their business, plus information about the book program.

Also a very special “Bereavement Products” page filled with products that have samples you can listen to.

Last but not least there is a monthly newsletter that you can sign up for and receive three free gifts just for giving us a try.

I wish to thank Chantelle Doiron of H2C Online for doing the website and Blaine LeRoy of DCAM Productions Ltd., for doing both the audios and the artwork.

Please check us out at www.thesisterhoodofwidows.com and like us online.

Many of his friends did not make it and he talks about destiny.  He is searching for answers as to why they died and yet he lived.  He said that it was his destiny and that we all have choices.

Destiny – the very word sounds sad and almost out of our control.  I agree with him that we do have a destiny, a purpose for still being alive.  But even more important than destiny (a predetermined course of events) is the fact that we all have choices.

Someone or something will happen in your life that changes your path and that is destiny.  But after destiny, comes the choices you have to make because you are on a new path that is unknown to you.

The choices you make will move you towards a destiny of your choice and not just a future that you have no control over.  Destiny will have a hand in your life, but you do also.

What do you think about destiny?

When you are married you came home to your husband and talk things out and de-stress from your day, but as a widow you do longer have that need filled.  Or so I thought, but that’s not necessarily true when you have a good social network.

Tonight there were thirteen ladies of all ages and in all stages of grief.  We had a great time talking about our stories, sharing some laughs, food and cards.  I even bought a beautiful hand knitted scarf from one of the ladies.  About half ways through the evening I felt the stress and loneliness lose its hold and I felt contented.

Widows know that contentment is hard to come by and yet that’s what friends give us when we let them into our lives.  My journey would not be as easy as it has been if not for other widows and their support and encouragement.  They give me contentment and that is priceless.

One way to have more laughs is to do something that’s just plain outrageous, to have some goofy fun.  One thing about laughing is that you usually need somebody else to do it with.  We need other people in our lives to help carry the load but also to share a laugh with.

My encouraging word to you is that you need to develop a sense of humor because without it you will not enjoy your life.  And you do have a life even though it may take you a while to get back on track, your life is there waiting for you.  Waiting to hear your laughter and waiting for you to notice the joy your friends and family still have to give you.

Sometimes I don’t find the joy and laughter but it finds me.  It’s just plain fun to go around speaking for different groups and conferences.  I always come away from these meetings feeling like I’ve received more than I have given.  More often than not I have shared a laugh with a new friend.

I read somewhere that we need to face our problems by looking for the flowers, not the weeds.  I know that it isn’t always that easy, but finding happiness and laughter has to start somewhere and I believe a positive attitude will help you laugh again.

I talked about the 3 Top Things Every Widow Should Do.  I gave them lots of examples on how to support and encourage employees to grieve and heal.  It is important that employees feel that their workplace is a safe place to express their grief so that they can heal.

Click here to watch the video in YouTube under “The Sisterhood of Widows” search.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xqCC8Z5ptw&feature=youtu.be

I just got back from a day bus trip with over 40 other women and what a time we had.  We got started at 7:00 am and didn’t get back till 10:00 pm.  We did nothing but eat, shop and laugh all day.  I’m exhausted from the marathon shopping and I couldn’t be happier.  All that laughter charges up the soul and nothing heals better than good times with our women friends.

This trip was a fund raiser for Cancer Research and many of the women on the bus were cancer survivors.  I’m here to tell you they were the worst in the group for practical jokes, fun stories and all around having fun.  They know how valuable life is and although they have struggled and some still are, they don’t let it hold them back from enjoying life.

These women can teach us all a valuable lesson just by example and I have to say I came away with a lighter step and better appreciation of life after spending time with them.

Next time we do this trip I’m going to round up some of the ladies from “Chicks Night Out” group to come with me.  We have so much fun in our monthly get together that I know everyone will enjoy this day trip.  So watch out, because next time there will be even more good friends to share the fun with.