Widowed after 44 years of marriage  

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Joined:11 months  ago
Posts: 1
04/01/2017 12:34 am  

November 30, 2016, I lost my husband after a short battle with AML leukemia.  He passed 24 days after his diagnosis.  I thought after his chemo he would go into remission and come home. I miss him so very much. My daughter is due the end of February and I am so sad that PePaw won't be here to hold her. He loved his grandchildren so much.  I don't know what I would do without the love and support of my 3 children and 3 grandchildren.  I still cry numerous times a day....I still think of all the sweet things he would do. He made me feel loved every day of my life.


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Joined:10 months  ago
Posts: 1
23/01/2017 10:14 am  

I lost my husband from AML leukemia on October 20, 2016.  He was diagnosed on September 20, 2016, had induction chemotherapy and on day 14 he had a bone marrow biopsy and was cancer free.  Two days later he developed an infection and died from septic shock.  I was stunned because I thought he also would be in remission and we could come home.  Now I am lost and lonely and trying to deal with his absence.  My heart aches every day.

Edited: 10 months  ago

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Joined:10 months  ago
Posts: 1
02/02/2017 7:51 am  

My husband had Graves Disease.  That created A-Fib.  He had 11 Cardio Versions and an Ablation.  He was on so much medication.  One being Eliquis.  He became sick one morning.  I called 911.  He was taken to the hospital.  In the emergency room they found his platelets were 9.  He was in need of blood and platelets.  The A-Fib was not as urgent.  

After going into ICU his lungs were filling with blood, the same with his  bladder & kidneys.  All they could do was put out fires.  He needed heart surgery for stenosis and temporary, kidney dialysis.  They couldn't do it because of the Eliquis.  He just kept bleeding.  

While going through all of this, they did a bone marrow biopsy and found he had AML.  If they could of done the heart surgery & temporary dialysis, he would still have to face chemotherapy.  All this time he was on support and not conscious.  He never knew he had AML.  

That was February 7, 2016.  The one year Anniversary is upon me.  

We have no children and we were married 42 years.  I'm trying so hard to do what it takes to heal.  So far, I'm still grieving greatly.  My husband was 69.  Truly a special person!  I miss him so much!

Carole


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Joined:5 months  ago
Posts: 1
08/06/2017 7:58 pm  

My heart grieves for you, he went through so much as well as yourself. We know all too well how the caregiver suffers also.

My husband, of 53 years, passed away very early Thanksgiving Day after a 5 year battle with cancer.

The pain never leaves, I believe we just learn to cope better. Several women in my church have also lost their husbands and some were recent as well. 

Many say we're not alone, but it doesn't seem to make it feel any better, however it is a comfort knowing we can share our thoughts and emotions with others.


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Joined:3 months  ago
Posts: 2
26/08/2017 9:38 pm  

To the ladies who lost their husbands to AML, I belong to your club. We were very happily married for 52 years, and my hubby was 92 when he was diagnosed in the ER with AML on Tuesday, July 25 and died 2 days later on Thursday, July 27. It seems to help me to tell about it, so if you want to bear with me, here is what happened. My husband had COPD, but only used oxygen at night. He had previous heart problems, but his heart was doing fine until this illness. His mind was perfect, and although he moved slow, he felt good and we thoroughly enjoyed our life together.

He had been his normal self over the weekend right before, and in fact, our youngest daughter and her 9  children had been here on Sunday, and also my stepson. We all had a lovely visit, and he was feeling fine, but did say he was tired and went to his room before they all left. Monday was also a normal day, but he did seem a little more tired than usual.

When we got up on Tuesday, he told me he didn't think he could stand up to get out of bed, even with my help. That was just not normal. His knees had gotten bad, but usually I would help him stand up, and then he could use his walker pretty well. I think in my mind, I thought maybe it was his heart, or maybe his COPD had gotten worse, and he wasn't getting enough oxygen, and that was making him weak. Anyway, I was worried, and called an ambulance to take him to the hospital. He was perfectly awake, and feeling okay, except very weak.

When we got to the ER, they did a bunch of tests and said he had acute myeloid leukemia, (which was a total shock to both of us) and that it was aggressive, could not be treated, and would go very quickly, a matter of days. The doctors were extremely blunt about it.

He was awake, comfortable and perfectly lucid for a while, but slept more and more the next couple of days.  He was totally comfortable, peaceful and in no pain when he died. All the kids and grandkids had been in and out to see him, and he woke up and smiled at them, although he was mostly asleep. 

Thursday evening, our youngest daughter, her husband, and I were getting ready to leave and our daughter leaned into his ear to kiss him and say goodbye, just as he took his last breath.

I hate losing this wonderful man after all these years, but knew this day would come sometime. I am just so grateful that he did not suffer or linger if he could not get better.

I think I'm doing okay, but I am probably working on auto-pilot most of the time. There is lots of paperwork to take care of, and thank goodness my stepson is an attorney, and is helping with that. When I keep busy, it's better, but thoughts of my sweet husband are constantly in my mind. I'm sure all of you know this better than anyone.

A good friend sent me this verse, and I'll share it with you:

Those we love don't go away,

They walk beside us every day.

Unseen, unheard, but always near.

Still loved, still missed, and very dear.

Thanks for listening.


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