Newly widowed - Just about a month
I posted this as a reply on another topic, but thought I would post it here, too.
To the ladies who lost their husbands to AML, I belong to your club. We were very happily married for 52 years, and my hubby was 92 when he was diagnosed in the ER with AML on Tuesday, July 25 and died 2 days later on Thursday, July 27. It seems to help me to tell about it, so if you want to bear with me, here is what happened. My husband had COPD, but only used oxygen at night. He had previous heart problems, but his heart was doing fine until this illness. His mind was perfect, and although he moved slow, he felt good and we thoroughly enjoyed our life together.
He had been his normal self over the weekend right before, and in fact, our youngest daughter and her 9 children had been here on Sunday, and also my stepson. We all had a lovely visit, and he was feeling fine, but did say he was tired and went to his room before they all left. Monday was also a normal day, but he did seem a little more tired than usual.
When we got up on Tuesday, he told me he didn't think he could stand up to get out of bed, even with my help. That was just not normal. His knees had gotten bad, but usually I would help him stand up, and then he could use his walker pretty well. I think in my mind, I thought maybe it was his heart, or maybe his COPD had gotten worse, and he wasn't getting enough oxygen, and that was making him weak. Anyway, I was worried, and called an ambulance to take him to the hospital. He was perfectly awake, and feeling okay, except very weak.
When we got to the ER, they did a bunch of tests and said he had acute myeloid leukemia, (which was a total shock to both of us) and that it was aggressive, could not be treated, and would go very quickly, a matter of days. The doctors were extremely blunt about it.
He was awake, comfortable and perfectly lucid for a while, but slept more and more the next couple of days. He was totally comfortable, peaceful and in no pain when he died. All the kids and grandkids had been in and out to see him, and he woke up and smiled at them, although he was mostly asleep.
Thursday evening, our youngest daughter, her husband, and I were getting ready to leave and our daughter leaned into his ear to kiss him and say goodbye, just as he took his last breath.
I hate losing this wonderful man after all these years, but knew this day would come sometime. I am just so grateful that he did not suffer or linger if he could not get better.
I think I'm doing okay, but I am probably working on auto-pilot most of the time. There is lots of paperwork to take care of, and thank goodness my stepson is an attorney, and is helping with that. When I keep busy, it's better, but thoughts of my sweet husband are constantly in my mind. I'm sure all of you know this better than anyone.
A good friend sent me this verse, and I'll share it with you:
Those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us every day.
Unseen, unheard, but always near.
Still loved, still missed, and very dear.
Thanks for listening.