Mary Francis - Welcome to the Forum
When my husband died I was lost and unbalanced. I wrote the book "The Sisterhood of Widows" and created this website and forum to help other widows.
Sometimes we think that if we ask for help we are admitting that we can’t handle it. But I think that it’s important that we don’t try to pretend that everything is alright. If we need to talk to someone then we should do it.
Now, when you have to start your life all over, you need a support system like you’ve never needed one before. This is no time to be a loner. You need people who are genuinely interested in how you’re doing, people who will cheer you on when you do well and sympathize when things go wrong – and who will tell you to keep trying.
It is my hope that this open forum allows you the freedom to share your stories. It is a safe place to ask for advice from the widows who may be further along in their healing and you don't have to give anyone your email, Facebook or Twitter accounts.
Now you have the opportunity to tell your own story under the Forums "Widow Stories" or "Recent Widows". Looking to either pass on or receive some tips and advice than post your comments under "Advice For Widows".
Welcome – come in and make yourself at home J
The love of my life passed Feb. 2016. It was a shock that I am beginning to think I will not recover from! He had been in bad shape physically for a few years from a back injury and shortly after surgery from that he had a terrible auto accident that messed him up pretty bad! Skip to January 2016, new doctor detected afib, if that's how it's written. He was put on warfin, after one week it was increased, Feb.4, passed the next day peacefully on the couch. He was very freaked out about the medicine, it was as if he knew what was going to happen. He even told me the sweetest thing that night before about to always remember how much he loved me and would be waiting for me when he goes before me! I made it through the first year with support from my little family. Now into the second year I am lost as a goose!! I had lost about 15 lbs. but now I am eating like crazy, just junk! I am alone most of the time, which really doesn't bother me much. I have gone all day in t-shirt and boxers I sleep in. I can no longer function like a human!! I feel like I'm getting worse rather than better!! I don't cry as much but I can't concentrate at all and sleep isn't working, even with my medicine. I take anti depressant.
I don't know why I wrote all this, I haven't said all this to anyone. I totally understand the grieving process, I've lost so many! Both my parents by the time I was 14, my first husband when we were 32, only brother in '94 and only sister in 2010. All were sudden death, I have never had to watch a love one suffer, that would be terrible! But I never got to say good bye and I'm just exhausted now! I think I just needed to throw up all these words, sorry for such a long drawn out post but even if it's not read by anyone, I feel I have gotten some weight off my heart, THANK YOU, for the opportunity to do this!❤
Hi, so my issue is guilt. We were married for 20 yrs. But I never felt very emotionally involved. I was going to break up with him the weekend he proposed. I talked myself into saying yes and was very happy for a while and I know I loved him, but we we hard on each other and I didn't respect or even like him sometimes. I'm an artist/writer and now that he is gone there are so any feelings I want to explore in my art but I don't want people who loved him to hate me. And I don't want to mess up my son's head with my feelings. I feel so happy to be single, but so trapped and affraid to express myself.
Hi Beth. Very few ladies are married for 20 years and never question their marriage or their love. That’s real life not the fairytale life we read about. You have a choice to move forward and enjoy your art or remain feeling guilty so that you have an excuse to not break free and be happy. I’m not saying it’s easy because it’s not. But the bottom line is what does your future look like and that’s your choice to make. Take Care. Mary Francis