Widowed – When there was two incomes coming into the house I didn’t really plan for my once a year insurance and finance expenses. Now there is only my income and I have to accept that financial change. If I continue to live with out a plan I will not have any savings when things go wrong with the house or car. Trouble is – I hate budgeting my money. It makes me think about where it’s going and sometimes I would whether not know. That’s my inner child coming out:-)

OK, so I know better and I will start by writing out all my expenses even the yearly ones (I will divide them by 12) and get my monthly cost of living down on paper. Once I know my true monthly expenses I will see how the income compares.  I guess that is part of being responsible for myself but I do miss having someone to share the blame with. Being a widow is such a change of lifestyle in every way: financial, social and mental. From Mary’s Blog posting 2010

When your husband dies, to say that your life will change is the greatest of all understatements. Your life will be torn apart; mentally, physically, financially and spiritually you are affected.

Your life goes from secure to chaos and is unmatched for its emptiness and profound sadness.  Money will be an important factor as lack of funds will change your future.  You have to make decisions about downsizing, going back to work, investments plus many more decisions at a time when you are unbalanced and stressed.

Immediately after his death, don’t let anyone rush you into making decisions you are not sure of.  Your mind isn’t thinking clearly for big decisions and those decisions could create problems for you down the road.   You may even want to postpone any major decisions, such as selling the family home, for the first year as your decisions may be driven by emotions and not clear thought.

There will be all kinds of well-meaning people with advice on what you should or shouldn’t do.  They mean to help, so smile and listen but understand that they may not know your financial situation.  Organize and prioritize by making a daily list of things to do so you don’t get overwhelmed.

You are responsible for yourself and young children, so dig in and learn as much as possible before you pass your life over to someone else or before making decisions without careful planning.  You may be talked down to or not taken seriously but stand your ground and you will grow as a woman who has taken charge of her life.

Home Insurance Tips

http://www.dailyfinance.com/2008/05/08/home-owners-insurance-tip-of-the-day/

Insurance Tips for Traveling

http://travelinsurance.lifetips.com/faq/0/0/question-answer/index.html

Health Insurance Questions Answered

http://healthinsurance.lifetips.com/faq/0/0/question-answer/index.html

http://www.healthinsuranceadvice.org/article17.html

Great all around site on Personal Finance

http://www.debtandfinancialadvice.com/financialadviceforwomen3.html

http://www.ehow.com/how_2292008_market-insurance-mature-women.html

Some interesting facts:

  • 32% of women over the age of 55 are widowed.
  • 80% of widows now living in poverty were not poor before their husbands died.
  • The average age for a woman to be widowed in the US is age 55 as per US Bureau of Census year 2000.
  • According to the National Health Assoc. 700,000 women become widows each year and will be widowed for average of 14 years.

Handling Insurance and Estate Settlements

Suddenly becoming a widow is devastating enough but regardless of how your feeling people are asking you to make decisions about issues you know nothing about.

No matter how large or small the amount might be, it’s crucial to your financial future that you have a clear plan on how to handle insurance and estate settlements.

Too many widows have made financial mistakes in ignorance and poor planning, and too many financial windfalls have been totally lost or poorly invested because of bad advice, or worse, no advice.

Before paying off your house, buying a new car, or taking a cruise with all your friends, you need to understand the ramifications of every dollar you spend and how it will affect your future lifestyle.

For stay at home wives who have never managed money or even worked, $25,000 can sound like a lot of money. It’s not and it can be spent before you even know it. If you are lucky enough to receive even more – let’s say $200,000 – this is where widows may think they are set for life but they may make bad investments that will never produce returns.

Some things to think about when you receive your insurance:

  • Be careful about telling anyone you have this money. If anyone asks if you’ll be OK, say “Yes”. That’s all they need to know and this will save you from people who are looking to borrow a little cash.
  • Wait before buying any big ticket items unless they are absolutely mandatory.
  • Most insurance companies will automatically establish a money market checking account for you, using your insurance funding. You will get a little interest so it’s best to leave it there until you get some a chance to learn more about money management.
  • When our husbands die we are not thinking clearly and want the very best for their funerals.  You can have a beautiful funeral without spending $4,000 on a casket so try to not overspend on the funeral.
  • Leave that money alone until you feel you can start to make rational decisions. Once you’re feeling better, get in touch with a certified financial planner, a CFP. These people must be licensed and their actions are regulated and monitored. They are experts in financial management and will go over your current financial situation in detail. They will be able to give you good advice on how to manage your insurance settlement so that it will work for you going forward.
  • A CFP usually charges an hourly rate and they may recommend certain investments, but their recommendation should only be based on their knowledge of that investment and how it relates to your financial situation.  After meeting with them you must understand their advice and you should like and trust them. If you have any doubts, meet with another planner – you need to be comfortable with their recommendations and decisions.

As a widow we don’t plan to be here and wish we weren’t.  But we need to educate ourselves and demand careful explanations with fast follow-ups.   Look for a firm that will let you talk and also let you bring a friend or family member to the meetings.  The firm should be there to empower you and they should honor your grief by not rushing you into anything you don’t fully understand.

This is your life – prepare yourself intellectually and emotionally to take charge of your future.  Your grown kids may think they know what is best, but this is one of those times that getting a financial adviser may be a good decision.  Don’t assume others have your back, don’t take for granted that it will all work out on its own and most importantly don’t depend on others without first taking the time to check things out.