Being a widow is a name for this stage of your life but it does not define who you are as a person. Part of your grief journey is also a journey in finding out who you are when you are no longer part of a couple.
Old age will be hard on me if I don’t learn to accept myself, in other words to feel comfortable in my own skin.
As I age I do more of what I want and worry less about what others think. Aging is a humbling experience as not everything works as good or fast as it did when I was younger. It has a way of making me swallow my pride and face my limitations.
I stopped comparing myself to others and that helped me gain self-acceptance for who I am – just as I am today.
The Delai Lama says “If you don’t like what’s happening in your life, change your mind.” Great advice because we can’t change the fact that we are widows or that we are getting older but we can accept it by changing our mindset.
One of the most important life skills is to not merely accept our situation in life but to embrace it – to live through it and yet not let it take your spirit away. Boy, is that a mouthful because there is no way a widow is going to embrace being a widow. Perhaps instead of saying “embrace” a better word would be to “accept”.
I know that there is no moving forward through your grief until you have self-acceptance of yourself as a person.