When we lose a loved one there is the obvious loss of that person and we grieve for them.
There are, however, other losses:
- Your future as part of a couple
- The role of a wife and lover
- The status of being a couple
Many changes occur as you progress from being married to being single. For some the loss of the relationship is as hard to take as the loss of their loved one.
Many widows are forced to move from the home they lived in while married and they may grieve the loss of that house.
You may have not properly grieved a loss in the past, such as the death of a parent and this past pain intensifies your grieving process. Grief is a very complicated emotion and needs to be respected.
Just look at the loss of the future as you had planned it. Married means that you had plans, goals, joint careers and a home. The future as you had planned is a very difficult loss to accept and many widows will need to grieve that loss before they can move on.
Now you have to create a new future and that is more work than you have the energy for, but it is part of your journey and you will grow stronger and start to be interested in the future again.