This doesn’t come as a surprise to those that have lost their spouse. The rating is based on the fact that nothing causes more of a “life change” than the death of your spouse. The “life changes” in your life are irrevocable and they destroy your future as well, and that constitutes another kind of loss.
When a widow losses her husband, she also losses her continuity. No one wants to change and even the most radical of people would prefer to control their lives and not face the unexpected loss of their “normal” life. It is natural to resist change as we are all creatures of habit. We follow the “rules”, behave as society expects, and fool ourselves into thinking that life is manageable. Then death pulls the “normal” carpet out from under our feet and we stumble into the abyss of the unknown.
Change threatens our stability and undermines our hold on sanity and life as we know it. Everyone has limits to their adaptability so learning how to cope with change will help you cope with the shock of your new tomorrows.
Stress management really means change management because too much stress/change can lead to serious illness, including heart attacks and strokes. Developing habits that provide some stability in your changing world will help you to manage change instead of suppressing it. By having habits that are stable and in your control you will gain back some control of your life.
Take a few minutes to think of the daily habits you do control and perhaps some new habits that you may want to start. The good thing here is that you are in control of these changes and that’s a great feeling to have.