We mustn’t allow anyone to minimize our feelings. When this happens, stop and say “let me tell you how it’s affecting me” and educate them to your feelings.
Name and claim the value of your feelings of distress as natural and appropriate responses to the death of your loved one. Having these feelings doesn’t make you a basket case!
We needn’t downplay these emotions, nor do we benefit from “checking out” until we’re back to our “old” selves. The truth is that we have been changed by our experience and will never be our “old” selves again.
It is OK to play, to be outrageous, to laugh and enjoy our lives. We need to be ourselves, in all our glory – the good, the bad and the ugly. Stand tall and don’t let anyone devalue you by not respecting the importance of what you are going through.