As I begin to take stock of my life and make new and different choices I feel some peace of mind. I perceive this stage of my journey as a period of reflection and I discovered the wisdom that comes from being able to look both backwards and forwards with a certain measure of grief experience.
As of today it has been five years since Donnie’s death. On one hand it still feels like yesterday, but on the other hand I feel more distant from the grief and I look back to those days with less pain. I’ve moved forward and I am not the same person I was five years ago.
Although I am no longer a “wife”, I am still a “mother” and now a “grandmother”. As widows ours lives changed and we cannot control the situation but we can control how we react to it. It is up to us to become stronger and not let it forever drag us down.
I still have my moments of sadness and I miss having Donnie in my life but I made a decision years ago that I would not be a victim of grief. Now I spend my time enjoying the present and planning my future. My past is full of great memories but it is only one part of my book of life and I have lots of living still to do.