The Lonely Season

There have been times in my life that I have been utterly lonely.  This is not a disease or a way to get pity but just a fact.  On the other hand, life with friends and family has been a blessing so I work to keep my loneliness controlled.

I rarely feel the absolute loneliness that comes from having few personal interactions and creates indescribable despair.  If you find yourself feeling this lonely, interact with anyone you can – reach out to others.  If you can afford it hire a therapist or attend a grief course.

As a widow if you’re living completely alone you must learn and use social skills because absolute loneliness is just too hard to bear.  Work at gradually getting out and meeting new people, traveling, donating your time or getting a part time job.

Each day brings new choices.  If you want to end your isolation you must be honest with yourself and just step out in faith.

No one can take risks for us, face our grief for us or give us self-esteem.  No one can spare us from the journey of grief to healing.  That is simply the way of things, and after a while we need to learn to appreciate our blessings.

Seeking the company of widows who have learned to transcend the loneliness, who feel as I feel and yet manage to heal, is the best treatment I’ve found.  Don’t hang out with people that drain you, but seek out those who inspire you.

Drum up the courage to connect with others, choose to do something you love to do or learn a new skill and you’ll soon find yourself stumbling across a smile or a joyful laugh.

Loneliness is not a defect but proof that you are searching for a connection.  Don’t hide your loneliness but instead bring it out into the light so you can heal.


2 Responses

  1. Betsy Way
    | Reply

    Mary, just found your interview. Will be going out to look for your book. Yes, I am a widow, and very lonely. Have so many emotions going on. I do need some help and support. Thank you for your story.

  2. Caryn R. Rosen
    | Reply

    Thank you for the great advice. I purchased a new puppy and he and I watch TV together for the lonely evening times. Several other widows have me going out to lunch and dinners which helps make you feel not so alone. I love gardening and have done it since I was four years old and I am Landscape Chairman in my community which makes me feel very needed. Also, I am a certified Master Gardener in New York and Florida and orchid lover which helps stay connected to what I love. But, unfortunately, health issues have entered the picture and are not as bad as it could be, but it still needs tending to along with paying all the bills, repairing the house as needed and I don’t know what to expect next, making it very difficult. But, everyone assures me that this is life and we do not always have it perfect. So I will try to keep one foot in front of the other and keep moving ahead inspite of the problems. Caryn Rosen

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