How Are You Doing?

Take time on your grief journey to stand still and shake off the heavy burden you have been carrying.

Ask yourself some questions:

  • Do you still think of your husband every day?
  • Do you become emotionally upset or can you enjoy your memories?
  • Have you accepted that your life is as a single and not as part of a couple?
  • Are you ready to plan for a future as a single person?
  • Are you prepared to invest in your own personal growth?

How do you move forward?  There are some specific things you can do to help fill the void created when your husband died.  A good job, support system, friends and family are all important in supporting you as you move forward.

There will be days you may choose to do some implosive grieving and if so then set aside some time to grieve.  Honor your grief time and don’t feel guilty because grieving is important.

But there will come a time when you ask yourself “How Am I Doing?” and your answers may  surprise you.

4 Responses

  1. Linda B. Sherby
    | Reply

    It has been five years since my husband died and I most definitely think of him every day. But I also have gone on with my life and I recognize that the pain is a bit less and and the burden of his loss, somewhat less heavy.
    I don’t know what I’d do without my work and my friends, and I have found that writing a book at least partially about our life together has helped in the mourning process – a way to both hold on and let go at the same time.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      You have the right attitude about moving forward in your grief journey. Writing about your life together is a great way to preserve your memories. Take care of yourself and reach out to widows in your area that could use your insight.

  2. Brenda Mitchell
    | Reply

    I am a surviving vietnam spouse and a disabled widow and I suffer from Post-traumatic stress disorder, traumatic grief, separation anxiety disorder, complicated mourning, serious emotional disturbance(SED), Loneliness, struggling with financial hardship and physical disability and learning disabilities, obsessive-compulsive disorder. The veterans affairs don’t see to feel that I should get any help and the social security did little to help told me to come back in 5 years to see if there is other or more benefits and the department of economic security gave me 15.00 a month I have no family no friends and no children and no way around it is very hard to move on living the way I do.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      It’s hard to connect with others when we are house bound but we humans need social connections to get some positive feelings in our lives. Take some time to join positive groups online(not games) for the connection. Watch some positive YouTube videos and work on building up your life for the positive things you have and not what you don’t have. Life is full of decisions and the path we travel is often based on the decisions we make.

      I know a widow with MS in a wheelchair. Her husband was her main caregiver and he died suddenly of a heart attack. Every day is a struggle for her but she is the most positive lady I know and has lots of friends because they are drawn to her positive energy. Take care. Mary Francis

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