Do You Need A Support Group?

posted in: Support Groups 5

Widows often ask me, “Do support groups work?” or “Will a support group help my grief?” 

The answer is “Yes” – regardless of your background, age or circumstances, widows who joined a support group were able to heal faster.  They felt less depressed and used less medication or alcohol to soften their feelings of sadness.

The more deeply you get involved in the group, the greater the signs of recovery.  Widows become less anxious, have a greater sense of well-being and higher hope for their future.

As a widow, the greatest challenge is the struggle to become “single”.  The support you receive from a group that encourages you to live for today is very important. 

Your future as planned has been taken away from you when your spouse died, and it takes a long time to build a new future.  At first you feel cheated because you expected to grow old together so it’s natural to need support.

“The Chicks Night Out” is an example of a support group for women who have lost a loved one.  It’s not a formal meeting, but a place to share your journey.  At first you may not feel like you need this group of people, but soon you will get more involved and get to know the other ladies.

Your new friends in the group will help you to get over your disappointment in your old friends, find joy in the present moment and make sense of the emotional journey of highs and lows.

Look around your home town and find a support group.  Even though you don’t feel like it – give it a chance.  If that group doesn’t feel right than go in search of another group.  It doesn’t have to be a formal group but it should be a group of people that understand your sorrow.

5 Responses

  1. Cydnee Lewis
    | Reply

    I lost my husband April 4, 2016, he died in my arms by our bed of a pulmonary embolism. We were together 14 years. I think it is time to find a support group locally, I have googled but everything I find is for children. Can someone point me in the right direction for a widow support group in Salt Lake City Utah?

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Hi Cydnee

      I hope someone lives by you and can point you in the right direction. If not ask your family doctor if there is anything in the area or if your a senior call your local senior centre and ask if they know of any group or even widows that you may have a visit with. Put the word out that your looking for other widows in your area to have a coffee with because your looking for some advise. That’s what I did and I was given phone numbers to call – I would call up a widow and ask if she would meet me as I needed someone to talk to and I was never refused. Nine years later and two of my best friends are widows that I had called for help. You just never know who your going to meet when you put yourself out there. Take care of yourself, Mary Francis

  2. Inez
    | Reply

    I lost my husband March 20, 2017. I am torn between the practicalities o living alone, the guilt(our marriage was not the happiest) and I miss him in unexpected ways. I reach over in bed to touch someone who should be there. Little unimportant things I would like to tell him and habits like saving the newspaper for him to read and grocery shopping for his tastes and needs.

  3. Joyce
    | Reply

    I have been widowed for 11 years & I am 66 years old. I have had a difficult time finding other widows in my West Michigan community. I have tried all the churches in the area, but none have a group for widows. There is a senior center in town, but that has nothing for widows specifically. It would be so nice to have some widows to do things with , but I can’t seem to find any. My days, nights and weekends are lonely.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      I’m sorry Joyce that you are unable to find some widow support in your community. If you use Facebook you can request to join “The Sisterhood of Widows – Closed Group for Widows” and answer the three security questions. This community of widows gives online support and encouragement to each other.

      Take care, Mary Francis

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