Make Your Home Happier

When we are grieving nothing appeals to us and our empty home just highlights our loneliness.

Sprucing up our home by making little changes can lighten our outlook on life. A soothing space also allows you to be more creative and happy.

I found that having a messy house made me more anxious, like I had a lot of unfinished things I should be doing. So now I’m cleaning up before I go out – a made bed makes me feel happier????

Painting my rooms in warmer colors also makes me feel better and I find it calming.

Another great idea to try out is building a vision board of things that I want to see and do that has positive energy attached to them.

Don’t do a lot of changes at once because that can just add to your stress. Planning is half the fun so enjoy making your home happier one project at a time.

7 Responses

  1. Geraldine
    | Reply

    Hi Mary.

    I have just come across this piece and smiled. My husband died twelve weeks ago at the age of 60. He so wanted to make our 40th wedding anniversary, but we both knew that it was unlikely we would manage it. So, come that date in December, I will be opening the card that he had bought and written, knowing that he would not be with me. I’ve respected his wish that I wait until that day before I open it. That’s going to be the most wonderful dreadful day since he died, but I am looking forward to it.

    I can so relate to your need for clearing up/making the bed/adding new things to the home. I’m often tidying up or dusting or cleaning the kitchen floor before I go to bed! I think it’s often to avoid that big, empty bed. A few weeks after he passed away, I bought pretty bedding! I always tried to keep things unisex before, but for some reason I felt the need to pretty and brighten things up.

    We’d slowly been working through the house redecorating and updating before he became ill. So, come the new year, I will complete the list by getting the last bedroom and the hallway, staircase and landing decorated. I’ve been planning colours etc. but it’s so odd not having him here to discuss/argue my plans. He always let me do what I wanted anyway, but there is no pleasure at the thought now.

    I will look back at your Blogs now that I’ve found you. I’m sure there will be many intakes of breath as I think, that’s exactly how I feel!

    Many thanks

  2. georgina
    | Reply

    Hello Mary
    I am writing to tell you how your site has helped so much since John died April 24 2014. Knowing how other women feel and also deal with their grief is a great help. we have started a group of 5 women who have lost their partners in the last 18 mos. We are using some of your ideas . Thank you for being there for us. Georgina

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Thank you Georgina for your kind words. I’m sorry about the loss of your beloved John but out of that grief you are doing something positive for other ladies in your area. You can use any of my material and if I can be of any other help please let me know.

      I am just finsihing a 40 page booklet that will be available off my website in February 2015. It is an amazing collection of information that I’m quite proud of. It will be very affordable so that it will available to everyone searching for help. I wish you well over the Holidays and into the New Year. Mary Francis

  3. Paula Corson
    | Reply

    Hi…Mary Francis…you mentioned abaove that a booklet is available…..could I please order one of those…..I lost my husband one month ago and I NEED HELP!!! Thank you…..Paula Corson…..completely broken and alone and very sad…..especially at night….is there a sisterhood in the 14615 area? Thank you

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      I’m so sorry about the loss of your husband and one month in this journey is still to be in the dark. It really, really helps to get out and socialize with other widows that are further along on their own grief journey and can be there to support you. Ask around to see if there are any groups in your area and if not consider starting one. It will do you good to have a project doing something that you are passionate about – “Chicks Night Out” group is in New Brunswick, Canada. The booklet is coming from the printers so please keep an eye on my product page and you will see when it becomes available. Take care of yourself, Mary Francis

  4. pd
    | Reply

    I have a dear friend who was widowed 2 years ago. She gets wakes up around 3:30 am in the morning and starts cleaning her house. I mean really cleaning. She has a lot of stuff and has to remove everything before she deep cleans her house. My house is dusty…I have to admit. I got up at 8 am this morning. Had a wonderful sleep and went to see some friends. She was shocked because I stayed in bed until 8 am. This is unusual for me, but I don’t get up until around 6 or 7. I have been a widow for almost 7 years. I am worried about my friend. She really plans everything…including going out for lunch with me..days advance. I try to use humor with her. Help. Not working.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Dear PD – I just want to thank you on behalf of your friend for being there and supporting her as she grieves. Everyone grieves in their own way and her way is to keep busy so she doesn’t have to deal with her pain. Encourage her to get some grief support. If there is a grief recovery program in your area you could go with her for support. See if she will go on the website and check out the free resources or join the Facebook page where she can safely express her feelings. Don’t give up on her, she is just struggling to find her place. Take care, Mary Francis

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