The death of a loved one produces a lot of negative energy. Our natural reaction is find something to release this energy and make us feel better.
S.T.E.R.B.S. – Short term energy releasing behaviors is all about the short term fixes we go after to feel better. STERBS makes us feel better as it takes our minds off our loved ones and our grief.
At a very yound age we are told not to be sad and to be happy. So in attempt to avoid our grief we often turn to the following for help:
Fantasy (movies, TV, books, games)
Any one of these things can make you happy after a particularly rough day, but they are all short term fixes. In moderation, most of the above are safe and even enjoyable, but sadly they can’t fill our emptiness.
Listen to family and friends if they are concerned about your actions or behaviors. I’m not talking about general statements that your crying too much or not enough, or that it’s time to move on. I’m talking about overindulged behaviors or activities that are being used to numb pain and grief. Examples are emotional eating and the TV becoming your best friend.