It’s not unusual for everything in your life to be unbalanced, even your faith, when you lose a loved one.
Spiritual Symptoms When Grieving:
- Anger at God
- A crisis of faith in your religious beliefs
- Difficulty in making sense of their death
- Searching for understanding of life without their loved one
Grief and loss evoke a number of different feelings and not just anger. You may feel disconnected, numbness, relief, peace or even joy. None of these feelings are right or wrong – they are just your personal feelings as you grieve.
The circumstances of the death and if your loved one was in pain or had a long illness, may cause you to question why God let it happen. You may feel comfortable that they are no longer suffering but that doesn’t mean that you have made peace with it.
You may be allowing this anger because you fear that you will not be able to control the pain of grief if you let go of the anger. There is no perfect roadmap for grieving and nothing and nobody should say what or how you should feel.
It is very natural to feel angry that the life as you had planned didn’t go down as expected. People often turn their anger towards family, friends and even God.
“Why me?” It’s OK to be angry and sad – that doesn’t change the fact that God is an important part of your life. I know this because if not you would not be concerned about being disconnected from God.
However, you probably won’t wake up one morning and feel that everything is okay and the anger is just gone. It is more of a subtle understanding that life is good, there is much beauty in our lives, there is music, there are friends who have done so much for us in ways that even they do not understand, and there are new possibilities to explore.
God is very personal to each of us and he will be there for you when you are ready. You may find that meditation and exercise will help you sort through your feelings about your spiritual life. Write in your journal what your faith means to you and how you can use it on your journey. You can also seek help from your religious leaders and other church members in the faith that you belong to.
Easter is about new beginnings. It may be the perfect time to have a good long talk to God about how you’re not feeling connected anymore – don’t hold back because it’s very healing to get all your feelings out in the open.