Do You Want to Skip Christmas?

If they ever invent time travel, many of us widows will be the first to line up to skip pass November and December for a first class ticket to January.  We will bypass all of the "holiday cheer" and having to be happy when all we want to do is grieve in peace.

Here are some tips to help you get through the holidays:

  • Don’t cling to visions of a perfect family moment.
  • Don’t travel out of guilt if it’s too difficult for you.
  • Don’t force yourself to party – celebrate your way.
  • Don’t isolate yourself, instead seek out kindred souls.
  • Don’t spend more than you can afford.
  • Don’t feel pressured to make a spiritual connection.
  • Don’t attend events that make you uncomfortable.


  • Do consider problems that may arise at gatherings.
  • Do talk to your children about how Christmas has changed.
  • Do be easy on yourself – it’s okay not to be festive.
  • Do try visiting your church for Christmas support.
  • Do plan out your holiday get-togethers so you’re prepared.
  • Do seek out support from those that have travelled the journey.



2 Responses

  1. Mary-Ann Roy
    | Reply

    I watched my husband die of cancer in March and we have a 7 yr old son. We would have been married 8 years in Sept. I shop all year getting the sales so I have no plans to hit the stores this Nov. and Dec.. I have enough for my son and if anyone else gets a gift from me it’s only by fluke that I already found something. Sorry to the rest of the people.I’ve also made it very clear that I do not want any gifts. If it wasn’t for my son, I would lock myself in my unfinished basement until Jan.2
    I do not know how I’m going to get through cmas and not ruin it for my son. Does anyone have a similar story they can share with me?

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      My children were grown up when Donnie died at the age of fifty-three so I didn’t have young children at home. I think the best thing is for another young widow to respond to your question.

      Can you go onto “Community Forum” on the website and post your story and question. I think that is the best way to reach a widow that can offer you their similar story. Thanks, Mary Francis

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