Valentine’s Day As a Widow

It’s difficult to see happy couples all around you when your spouse has died and your on your own.  Valentine’s Day used to be a day of cards, flowers and a special date night, but now it’s just you.  Being lonely and knowing that you’re no longer part of a couple is just reinforced on Valentine’s Day.

I remember and still have all the special Valentine’s Day cards that Donnie gave me.  Donnie was a romantic and took his time to get just the right card, while I was always in a hurry and it was just another thing on my list to get done.  I wish that he was back so I could show my appreciation for everything he did in the biggest and best Valentine’s Day card.  Now the best I can do is take the time to appreciate those still in my life.

If you find yourself alone on February 14th the void that you feel can be overwhelming.  Flowers and love songs on the radio can highlight loss as easily as they can inspire love. Here are a few tips for this Valentine’s Day:

.   No Secret formula, so focus on something positive to do for that one day.

.   Avoid romantic movies and special meals that you used to share together. 

.   Stay away from restaurants that will be filled with couples.                           

.   Spend time with others – talking, playing games and enjoying their time.

.   Grief is not tidy and cannot be contained so let your emotions come as they are. 

.   It’s okay to talk about your memories and share your stories.

.   Valentine’s Day is for more than spouses.  Take time to express love to others. 

.   Note – Grandchildren love Valentine’s and the special time you take with them.

.   Be grateful for all the love that you still enjoy and appreciate what you still have.

This year I won’t be spending Valentine’s Day by myself, instead I will have my grand-girls overnight so that my son and daughter-in-law can have their special date night.  Valentine’s Day has changed but that doesn’t mean that I shouldn't make the best of it.  I will play and enjoy my grand-girls and that’s something to look forward to.  Please reach out to family and friends – you may find out that they are also lonely and appreciate having your love.

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