Two months after Donnie’s death I did our monument. I put our wedding date and picture on it, and had it inscribed with “Charlie Brown and Snoopy Forever”. In the back it has the Serenity Prayer and I believe the monument will share our story with future generations. I found it healing to design the monument with memories of our life together. I now understand why couples design it together as part of their estate planning.
Three years later and I moved for the second time since Donnie’s death. I finally took that storage tote out from under the bed. After three years it was still hard to look at all the special items I kept from Donnie. It felt like he had just died and all the memories came rushing back.
Now, nine years after Donnie's death I've moved again and hopefully this will be my last 🙂 I wish he was here but he’s not and so I’m moving forward. I can’t seem to settle down and I’m always going from project to project. The other widows keep me going because I know they understand the journey I’m on.
I’ve come a long way since Donnie’s death thanks to my family and friends. I truly believe that healing comes from sharing your life with others. The more you stay in and focus on your pain the harder it will be to grieve and heal. The trick is to treasure our memories without letting them stop our journey forward. Our memories can move us to live a full life; if for no other reason then because we are still here and can do it.
Honor your memories but don't hold back from making some new ones. Take care of yourself because you matter, Mary Francis