A Widow’s Grief Moods

Rapid mood changes are typical when widows are grieving. Widow’s are often doing good and then without any apparent reason, they take an emotionally down turn and are unable to stop crying.

Maybe it was triggered by a conversation with a friend or a song on the radio. You feel even worse because by now you feel that you should be in better control of your moods. This is just a sign that you are not completely done your grief. Take your time and remember that sometimes the years will go by and you can still have a rapid mood change caused by grief.

You may be afraid to trust your emotions because of your inability to control them. Sometimes you want to protect yourself by becoming “emotional numb” and stop yourself from feeling anything. But it’s healthier to let yourself feel the pain and the emotions so that you can work your way through it.

A widow’s grief will settle into healing and our memories will be with us till the day we die. As time goes on we will learn to enjoy our memories without letting them affect our moods.

5 Responses

  1. Bonnie
    | Reply

    True, so true

  2. Joyce M Timmons
    | Reply

    Waiting for that day to come in my life. I miss my husband single day of my life.
    It been one year, one month and two days since his untimely death and I am still an emotional mess.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Dear Joyce – Hold on to all the positive things you can find, read positive things and watch positive TV programs. Fill your mind with whatever love you can find from family, friends and even pets. It’s hard to get pass the grief so we can heal but you are stronger than you think. Draw on that strength to take back your life. It will be forever different but it is your life and your life is worth living to the fullest. Take care of yourself, Mary Francis

  3. doretta damico
    | Reply

    My husband died October 23, 2017. We were extremely close, no children, together 22 years. I met him when I moved from CT to FL, he lived in CA at the time & moved to FL & we were together ever since. I have not family here & cant have a pet where I live. Dont have any best friend as he was everything to me. So I am completely alone during holidays etc. All I have to look forward to now is my job. I dread going home to an empty house all the time. Nights & weekends are miserable. I tried going out to a couple social functions but they only made me more depressed. I would rather be dead too than go on like this. Now I am being forced to move to another condo because the owner sold mine so I will have to empty my husbands closet * I am afraid I will have some emotional breakdown. I found a new place but they dont accept pets so I can not even have a little pet as a companion. It is all so hopeless

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Dear Doretta – The loneliness crushes us, mentally drags us down to the point that we feel like we are drowning in our grief. Some widows had their husbands T-shirts made into one big blanket or lap blanket so they were able to keep them together for the memories. It helps to donate our loved ones belongings to someone or to some group that could really use them. Have you thought about getting a fish tank? It is something to care for plus it’s very relaxing to watch them swim around. You say that you are still working so that means you have a reason to get up and out, and that is all positive. You are still in early stages of grieving so don’t expect that everything should be “normal”. In fact you have to find your “new normal” and that requires work. It doesn’t come to you, it requires you taking control – do some volunteering, go to the library, join a gym, go for walks and join groups that interest you. Don’t give up, you are beautiful and deserve a full life – Mary Francis

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