Widow Survivors

We widows need the support of those around us but we sometimes find it hard to express our need. Below is advice for you to share with those who care about you:

• Listen to me.
• Allow me to talk and cry as much and as often as I need to.
• Don’t be afraid to talk about the person who has died.
• Continue to offer support, don’t drift away from me.
• Offer to go to a local survivor group with me.
• Write me notes/ call me, even if I don’t reply.
• Small acts of kindness – run an errand, cook a meal, visit doctor with me.

Where once there was some kind of order to your days, now chaos reigns. It’s hard to get rebalanced on your own. Give yourself time to grieve but also keep the door open for the support and kindness of others who want to be there for you.

Asking for help takes willingness and it take courage so please share this so that others know not only that your hurting but also that you need their support.

2 Responses

  1. Sharon
    | Reply

    It has been almost two years, I still cry daily for him. Will this ever stop?

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Dear Sharon – I’m sorry for your loss and I wish I could say that it completely stops but I don’t think it does. I’ve been told by older widows that they still have their times even many years later. I can say from my experience (it’s been ten years for me) that I started to feel more balanced in my third year. What helped me was that I found something that I was passionate about and it took my mind off of what I didn’t have and helped me appreciate what I still had, plus my first grandchild was born and that helped give me purpose. Taking control of your life, friends, hobbies and learning to love life again are all important for our healing hearts. Take care, Mary Francis

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