Holidays Tips for Widows

During the holiday season grieving is even more difficult so here are a few tips to help you:

• A lot of traditions are no longer possible when a loved one dies. Keep what traditions you can and be willing to start some new ones. Example – Lighting a memory candle at Christmas.

• Keep the lines of communication open with all the family members. Celebrating important events is difficult, but sharing past memories will help you to heal.

• Don’t get overwhelmed on the holidays. Do what you are able to do and eliminate the pressure of doing what two people used to do.

• Buy a gift in memory of your loved one and give it to the charity of your choice.

• Get support from others that have suffered a loss and will understand how you feel.

• If you are feeling overwhelmed by a long shopping list give everyone a gift certificate.

• Make a list of things to do and rely on your notes to keep you focused.

• Just because everyone used to come to your house doesn’t mean that they have to this year.

• If you are too tired to create your famous recipe than ask someone else to make it for you.

• You don’t have to go to every party that you are invited to and you don’t need to explain yourself.

• Pay attention to your own needs. Listen when your inner voice says that you’re tired.

• Often there is a fear that saying the name of the deceased person will somehow cause more pain for those around you. Don’t hold back from talking about your loved one.

2 Responses

  1. D
    | Reply

    Mary Francis, Your advice is golden. I have 14 people coming to my small house on US Thanksgiving. I intend to make it fun. Everyone brings something. (My husband…who I lost 6 yrs. ago, used to help me with the whole thing and cleanup.) This year…the most people I’ve had for dinner…the more the merrier I think! Well, it’s going to be good quality paper plates, napkins, and plastic glasses. Last year I only had 10 people and everyone…except me and one poor soul ended up cleaning up…while everyone else took a walk to our local state park. I think that we will all go for a walk this year. D

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      Hi D – I like the way you think!!! That’s the way to socialize and I bet everyone will appreciate it. Spending time with people we care about is what it’s suppose to be all about, so put the good china away and enjoy your walk. Happy Thanksgiving, Mary Francis

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